Office Visit

 "So, Mister Sam, is that correct."

"Yes sir."

"Well," says the doctor as he flips through the chart, "You seem to be in pretty good shape for someone who is - let's see -"

"I'll be two hundred forty-eight come this July."

"Very impressive. What is it that brings you here today?"

"Well doc, I gotta be honest, I feel pretty good most of the time but lately I've been having a lot of pain in my extremeties."

"Hmm. Could you describe the pain?"

"Well, it kind of feels like I'm being stretched. Everything in my middle feels like its being pulled apart."

"Interesting. How long have you had this feeling?"

"Well, for some time now, but it's been getting more acute since COVID."

"Any problem breathing?"

"Sometimes it feels like I can't get my breath. But it's mostly that feeling like I'm being stretched in two directions, and I can't explain it."

"According to your chart, you were last in here about a century ago for, let's see, growing pains?"

"I have been meaning to get back in here, but you know how things get. Holidays, elections, world wars."

"Ah, yes. It says here you were on the winning side for both the War To End All Wars and the Sequel."

Blushing slightly. "Well, yeah."

"And what have you been doing since to keep yourself fit? Exercise? Diet? Getting plenty of fiber?"

"Well, I do a lot of volunteer work. Being the world's policeman isn't exactly laying around in the hammock."

"Sure, but what about getting some of that core working for you. Your middle that you say seems to be getting pulled every which way?"

"I gotta be honest doc, with all that flailing around on the left and the right, I may have neglected my middle."

"Maybe you should be paying more attention to the things that hold you together, instead of what threatens to tear you apart."

Sighs. "You're probably right."

"You know I'm right. Someone of your age and stature really should be taking better care of, well all those nieces and nephews."

"Thanks, doc."

"Is there anything else I can do for you today?"

"Oh yeah - do you validate?"