The One True King

 “On this occasion, I cannot help noticing the readjustments to the East Wing, Mr. President,” said the king while just a few feet from where the "president" and first lady Melania Trump were seated. “And I’m sorry to say that we British, of course, made our own small attempt at real estate redevelopment of the White House in 1814.”

Careful readers may have noted that the previous paragraph referred to both a "king" and a "president." The "king" was making a little jest regarding the time that invading British soldiers came storming back to America and burned down the White House. The "president" in this account didn't need a regiment of invading troops, he just tore down one third of what is colloquially known as The People's House. 

Over in England, they have palaces and castles and ballrooms to spare. 

For his part, the "president" recently whined to Sixty Minutes, "The reason you have people like that is you have people doing 'No Kings.' I'm not a king. If I was a king, I wouldn't be dealing with you."

Apparently his pretend-highness has issues with subtleties such as dealing with Congress before tearing down the White House, or declaring war. A waste of valuable time that could be spent on the golf course. 

For his part, the real king spent his time addressing the long history of cooperation between his country and its former colonies. "Ours is a partnership born out of dispute, but no less strong for it," he said. "Our two countries have always found ways to come together. And by Jove, when we have found that way to agree, what great change is brought about, not just for the benefit of our peoples, but of all peoples." A statement that doesn't jive well with the Orange Worst's assertion that  Canadian, British and other troops on the ground in Afghanistan as part of the American war on terror "stayed a little back" from the front lines. When NATO chose not to rush into Iran to help out in an illegal war, the Worst huffed  that NATO "wasn't there when we needed them and won't be there if we need them again."

Perhaps it's best to close out this account of The King's visit with this little chestnut he dropped into his address to Congress: "Our destinies as nations have been interlinked. As Oscar Wilde said, ‘We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language!'" One need not spend any time comparing a BBC broadcast to Faux News to agree on that. 

Just A Joke

 I do not watch Jimmy Kimmel on any kind of regular basis. 

This is probably how I missed the joke he made on his show two days before the White House Correspondents Dinner, which has now become an acronym: WHCD. Which I think is an NPR station in Delaware. 

I digress. 

Last Thursday during his monologue, Mister Kimmel made this jape referencing an event that had not happened yet: “Of course, our first lady, Melania, is here. Look at her, so beautiful. Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow.” 

It was not kind, I grant you, but the humor embedded in that line was based on the age difference between the two, which happens to be twenty-four years. The convicted felon's health issues help to fuel this degree of concern, insincere as it may be. 

The day after the kerfuffle at the Washington Hilton, the First Lady who is the third wife of the Orange Worst so I don't fully understand the numbering system, took to social media to call for the removal of Mister Kimmel from the airwaves. “Kimmel’s hateful and violent rhetoric is intended to divide our country. His monologue about my family isn’t comedy- his words are corrosive and deepens the political sickness within America. People like Kimmel shouldn’t have the opportunity to enter our homes each evening to spread hate.”

This statement proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that irony is dead. I don't mean to cause anyone any alarm, since it has been on life support for at least a decade, but Melanomia's tweet suggests that "people like" Jimmy are responsible for the division in our country. People like her husband, it should be pointed out, who has called for the execution of Mark Milley, the former chief of staff. He has also suggested beating and shooting protesters who dare raise their voice against his draconian policies. He has declared that his political rivals be arrested or removed. 

Oh, and he started a war without saying, "Congress, May I?"

Then, a few weeks into that conflict, he threatened to destroy an entire civilization. 

Violent rhetoric? Honey, you married it. And god willing, you'll live to regret it. 

Questions To Everyone's Answers

 "When did you stop beating your wife?"

This is the kind of question that journalists don't get to ask, but every so often, a situation presents itself that is too hard to pass up. I present to you, for your consideration, 60 Minutes correspondent Norah O’Donnell interviewing the Orange Worst the day after the alleged attack on the White House Correspondents Dinner. 

Referencing the "manifesto" allegedly written by the suspect in the very theatrical assault on the Hilton Ballroom, O'Donnell read,  “I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes.” Looking up from the text, she asked the Worst,“What’s your reaction to that?” 

The convicted felon and adjudicated rapist huffed, “Well, I was waiting for you to read that because I knew you would, because you’re horrible people. Horrible people. Yeah, he did write that. I‘m not a rapist. I didn’t rape anybody.”

“Oh, you think—do you think he was referring to you?” O'Donnell interrupted.

Mic drop. 

Because, among other things, the angry old man currently squatting in the ruins of the White House is in fact a rapist. Guilty. By a judge and jury. In 2023. The "president" is a convicted felon and a rapist. 

Why do you suppose that anyone would doubt the veracity of anything out of that mouth? That some mouth that assured us that he was "The Peace President." That some mouth that told us he was "totally exonerated" in the matters concerning the Epstein Files. That same mouth that insisted that we would all get tired of so much "winning."

"When did you stop lying?"

To Fly

 On and on. 

School shootings. 

Schools blown up by war. 

Schools closed from lack of funds. 

I work at a school named for the "Father of Public Education," and it was recently on a list set forth by our district to be closed. Families in our city are frequently caught unaware by the way the school they have chosen for their children just stopped. No classes. No lunches. No safe place to learn. 

Meanwhile, a billion dollars a day is being spent to destroy those schools in Iran. The sad irony of my least favorite poster of all time, "It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber" is lost. Finding our way back to a world in which the ideal Horace Mann set forth, “Education is our only political safety. Outside of this ark all is deluge.”

We are currently lost in the flood. 

Schools are expendable for those who cannot afford it. The notion of public education has been subverted and chopped into pieces to buy those smart bombs that still need someone to guide them. 

I am on the cusp of retiring from a thirty year career in public education, but when people look at me sideways and ask, "Can you really just walk away?" I tell them that I don't think I will be far away from the institution that gave me the wings I have to fly. 

I'll be returning to the nest. To protect it. To keep it safe. To keep it open. For another generation of those in need of feathers. 

Voices Crying Out In The Wilderness

 As the realization that perhaps electing a convicted felon who had been impeached twice in his first term begins to dawn on America as a whole that it may have been a bad choice, the rest of the world nods in affirmation. 

America as a hole. 

"This isn't what I voted for." 

Really? You believed all the spin and hype that came tumbling out of the former game show host's mouth? Now you're questioning your choices?

I'm looking at you Marjorie Taylor Green. 

And you, Tucker Carlson.

It was all fun and games while the bloated sack of protoplasm was taking wide swings at those things that you hate. Then he started chopping up the White House. And starting wars to cover up the facts hidden in the Trumpstein Files. All of a sudden, there is a rush by some of those big mouths that had once hung out with the would-be-king at his golf resort. That was before they "realized" that maybe all wasn't well in that dark space between his ears. 

Poor Marge. "I wanted so much for President Trump to put America First. That’s what I believed he would do. All I heard from his speech tonight was WAR WAR WAR," wrote the former congressperson from Georgia after the Orange Worst's April 1 address to the country. "Nothing to lower the cost of living for Americans. Nothing to reduce our near forty trillion dollars in debt. Nothing to save Social Security, which goes bankrupt in just a few years. Nothing to lower the cost of insurance. Nothing to address jobs for Americans. Nothing about education for our children. Nothing about our children’s future. Nothing for America’s future."

Poor Tucker. “You know, we’ll be tormented by it for a long time – I will be,” Young Tuck said. “And I want to say I’m sorry for misleading people. It was not intentional, that’s all I’ll say.” But of course it wasn't really all. Speaking with his brother on his podcast, “In very small ways, but in real ways, you and me and millions of people like us are the reason this is happening right now.”

Even now as thirty-some percent clings to approval of the way this monster has shredded the Constitution and turned our system of government into a Demock-racy, we look to those mildly sentient beings left in positions of authority who might bring an end to this charade. Tucker is a podcaster, for heaven's sake, and Marge is an ex-congressperson. Not exactly our first line of defense. 

But then again, they never really were. 

Limited Attention

 The world economy is in a shambles because of the Orange Worst's poor decision making, or lack thereof. I learned a new term as a result of this narcissistic mishandling: Stagflation, a combination of economic stagnation and inflation. Countries are running out of jet fuel. The closure of the Strait of Hormuz is having the ugliest possible effect, superseding those felt by the capricious tariffs he put in place to start his second term. The invasion of Venezuela, the threats he has made against Canada, Greenland and Cuba have only compounded the unchecked angry whimsy of the Second Trumpreich. 

Oh, and he wants to fight the Pope. 

With all of this bizarre behavior and his approval ratings in the toilet, what do you suppose the Master of Disaster has in store for us next?

How about getting his pool guy to come out and re-tile the reflecting pool for the Lincoln Memorial? 

Yes, the former game show host has set his attention deficit on coating the hundred year old water feature "American flag blue." 

The Orange Worst said he was inspired to oversee renovations after a friend visited from Germany and noted its decay."He said, 'it's filthy, dirty. The water is disgusting looking. It's not representative of the country.'"

To which I could only reply, "Well, it certainly reflects the current state of our country."

On the Worst burbled, "In another couple of weeks, we're going to have the most beautiful reflective pool between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial that you've ever seen."

First of all, there is only one "reflective" pool between the Washington and Lincoln Memorials, so the one I have seen is and will continue to be the most beautiful. Secondly, I am immediately suspicious of any timeline offered up by the alleged pedophile. Especially the ones that span "about two weeks." Considering his diminished capacity and attention span, he probably believes that the rest of us will forget what he was talking about eight minutes from now.

No? You still remember the random war crimes and the Epstein Files? Looky over here at the pretty reflective pool. Isn't it a calming shade of American Flag Blue? Maybe he'll stock it with sharks and throw ICE captives into it for sport to celebrate the 250th birthday of our great nation. 

Yeah, like that's so ridiculous. This is the guy who wants to have a UFC arena built on the South Lawn of the ruins of the White House. 

Time to wake up, America. 

Conflict Resoluion

 Never fear. Just because you read something about a "California teacher with a beef against the president opens fire..."

That was not me. 

Rather instead I spent this past Saturday evening at my home in California, along with my wife and cat, whom also have a beef with the president, but chose to ignore this year's White House Correspondents Dinner, the one that ended in gunfire. 

I was alerted to the disturbance like many of you when alerts started coming across various media. Mine came from Al Gore's Internet where I was abruptly assured that, once again, the convicted felon had not been harmed in this latest attempt on his life. 

This would be the hat trick, if I may borrow the hockey parlance for a third shot on goal. The suspect, that teacher from California who had a beef with the president, was subdued and taken into custody. The officer who was shot was wearing a buttetproof vest and was reported to be "doing great" at a local hospital. 

The rest of us? 

It seems that the overwhelming sentiment was that folks who were trying to watch the NBA playoffs were upset because their game was interrupted with an appearance by the former game show host assuring us that he was unscathed. This was the kind of announcement that used to bring a sigh of relief to those of us who hold the office of the President as something to regard with honor and pride. This is not the current climate in the United States. Someone tried to kill the president. Allegedly. Contrast this with the coverage of JFK's assassination or even the attempt made on Ronald Reagan. How quickly can we just get back to our sportsball coverage? They were wrapping up the NFL draft, for heaven's sake. 

The question to everyone's answer would be "will this change the national discourse away from affordability, the war in Iran, or the Epstein Files?" The most scurrilous sentiment that I encountered in my own mind was that the "very stable genius" had not quite finished composing his prepared remarks for the gala, and was relieved when he didn't have to be heckled by members of the press corps who have suffered his indignation for the past decade. 

Even more likely is that we have arrived at a point in history when we are confronted by a Congress that does little else but wrings their hands and waits for the next election to deal with the Orange Worst. I continue to maintain that no one deserves to be shot. I am a proponent of non-violent action, but I am a porponent of action. 

And yes, I am a teacher from California who has a beef with the "president."