Discretion, we are told, is the better part of valor.
What I am about to relate to you is what some of us in the business refer to as "irony." I would also encourage you to listen to Lalo Schifrin's theme to Mission: Impossible as you contemplate the events of July 8, 2026.
Under the veil of threats from Iran, the convicted felon boarded Air Force One as usual in Turkey. Then he proceeded to head out the door on the other side of the plane into a waiting catering truck. You know, the ones that rise up on on a scissor lift to load an aircraft with nominally edible refreshments before your flight takes off to destinations known and unknown. But mostly known if you're a real person. The former game show host does not fall into that classification, so in order to save the Orange Worst from potentially being shot down in that big blue and white plane, they snuck him off and put him and Pistol Pete Hegseth on another, smaller military aircraft that was neither the old blue and white version of Air Force One nor the fancy-schmancy Qatari upgraded version.
Once back in the United Kingdom, the adjudicated rapist was loaded back into the old version of the 747 he had narrowly avoided riding in from Turkey to Suffolk, England. Reporters and other staff were told they needed to make the four hour flight with the blinds pulled on the plane "for security reasons." When asked about this strategy after the decoy flight had landed, the MAGAt in chief reminded us that in spite of his outward indifference to the death threats from the country he started a war with to distract from his nefarious dealings back home: "Well, yeah, because you’re probably on a dangerous flight because of the sleaze bags that we have to deal with."
Dangerous? Not for catering trucks. But certainly for the members of the press on board that big blue and white target up in the sky.
Which brings me to my lingering question: If this was supposed to be such a big secret, how is it that a month after the fact it becomes worldwide news? What gaping hole in military intelligence allowed the details of this bait and switch that saw the twice-impeached "president" taken off his hyper-secure Oval Office in the sky and stuffed in a bin with Chex Mix and cans of V-8 juice? Is there a need amongst us all to know just how limited this buffoon's authority really is?
Coming from the guy who has repeatedly called for the extermination of an entire country, dating back to April when he issued his version of a fatwa: "a whole civilization will die tonight." He's also the guy who blew up a school full of little girls in February. All that tough talk has him hiding in catering trucks.
And golf courses around the world.