The One True King

 “On this occasion, I cannot help noticing the readjustments to the East Wing, Mr. President,” said the king while just a few feet from where the "president" and first lady Melania Trump were seated. “And I’m sorry to say that we British, of course, made our own small attempt at real estate redevelopment of the White House in 1814.”

Careful readers may have noted that the previous paragraph referred to both a "king" and a "president." The "king" was making a little jest regarding the time that invading British soldiers came storming back to America and burned down the White House. The "president" in this account didn't need a regiment of invading troops, he just tore down one third of what is colloquially known as The People's House. 

Over in England, they have palaces and castles and ballrooms to spare. 

For his part, the "president" recently whined to Sixty Minutes, "The reason you have people like that is you have people doing 'No Kings.' I'm not a king. If I was a king, I wouldn't be dealing with you."

Apparently his pretend-highness has issues with subtleties such as dealing with Congress before tearing down the White House, or declaring war. A waste of valuable time that could be spent on the golf course. 

For his part, the real king spent his time addressing the long history of cooperation between his country and its former colonies. "Ours is a partnership born out of dispute, but no less strong for it," he said. "Our two countries have always found ways to come together. And by Jove, when we have found that way to agree, what great change is brought about, not just for the benefit of our peoples, but of all peoples." A statement that doesn't jive well with the Orange Worst's assertion that  Canadian, British and other troops on the ground in Afghanistan as part of the American war on terror "stayed a little back" from the front lines. When NATO chose not to rush into Iran to help out in an illegal war, the Worst huffed  that NATO "wasn't there when we needed them and won't be there if we need them again."

Perhaps it's best to close out this account of The King's visit with this little chestnut he dropped into his address to Congress: "Our destinies as nations have been interlinked. As Oscar Wilde said, ‘We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language!'" One need not spend any time comparing a BBC broadcast to Faux News to agree on that. 

Just A Joke

 I do not watch Jimmy Kimmel on any kind of regular basis. 

This is probably how I missed the joke he made on his show two days before the White House Correspondents Dinner, which has now become an acronym: WHCD. Which I think is an NPR station in Delaware. 

I digress. 

Last Thursday during his monologue, Mister Kimmel made this jape referencing an event that had not happened yet: “Of course, our first lady, Melania, is here. Look at her, so beautiful. Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow.” 

It was not kind, I grant you, but the humor embedded in that line was based on the age difference between the two, which happens to be twenty-four years. The convicted felon's health issues help to fuel this degree of concern, insincere as it may be. 

The day after the kerfuffle at the Washington Hilton, the First Lady who is the third wife of the Orange Worst so I don't fully understand the numbering system, took to social media to call for the removal of Mister Kimmel from the airwaves. “Kimmel’s hateful and violent rhetoric is intended to divide our country. His monologue about my family isn’t comedy- his words are corrosive and deepens the political sickness within America. People like Kimmel shouldn’t have the opportunity to enter our homes each evening to spread hate.”

This statement proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that irony is dead. I don't mean to cause anyone any alarm, since it has been on life support for at least a decade, but Melanomia's tweet suggests that "people like" Jimmy are responsible for the division in our country. People like her husband, it should be pointed out, who has called for the execution of Mark Milley, the former chief of staff. He has also suggested beating and shooting protesters who dare raise their voice against his draconian policies. He has declared that his political rivals be arrested or removed. 

Oh, and he started a war without saying, "Congress, May I?"

Then, a few weeks into that conflict, he threatened to destroy an entire civilization. 

Violent rhetoric? Honey, you married it. And god willing, you'll live to regret it.