Imminent Part 2

 Apologies to those who figured they would tune into this space around this time for accounts of the Trump Indictment, perp walk and all the attendant drama that would unfold as the MAGAt in chief is finally dragged before a court. 

But fear not, true believers, I have scoured the news for a replacement legal drama: The Trial of The Mistress of Goop. If you have not been keeping track of all the drama taking place in Park City, Utah I figure I owe you all this reportage to take your mind off the fact that the twice-impeached former game show host is still at large. 

In 2016, it is alleged that Gwyneth Paltrow, semi-retired actress and face of Goop crashed into another skier on the slopes knocking him out, breaking four of his ribs, and causing a traumatic brain injury. The alleged victim is suing her Goopness for three hundred thousand dollars. Ms. Paltrow is countersuing for one dollar and the connected legal fees generated from this vicissitude. The courtroom intrigue has been nothing if not salacious. As part of his complaint against Paltrow, the victim's lawyer explained that his client, Terry Sanderson, was no longer to enjoy the activities that he had before the collision. This included wine tasting. 

Ouch.

He went on: “Before this crash, Terry was a charming, outgoing, gregarious person. After the crash, he’s no longer charming.”

Double ouch. 

For her part, Ms. Paltrow described her torment:  “Well, I lost half a day of skiing.” No word as to how her wine tasting was affected. She was also asked about the time she was on Jimmy Kimmel's show and mentioned that she was "accident prone." She was also asked about her relationship with Taylor Swift. Under oath, Gwyneth Paltrow allowed that the two were "friendly, but not close friends." 

Talk about your fireworks!

When the smoke finally cleared, Paltrow was awarded her one dollar, and sweet vindication. So, I guess what I'm suggesting here is that if you don't think waiting around for an arrest of the former "president" is painful enough, I could continue to dish on the litigation going on in Park City.