Heart: Broken

 Michael and I spent ten weeks together, working on Tuesday afternoons to create a community service project along with ten of his other fourth and fifth grade volunteers. We settled on bullying as the problem we wanted to solve, and then we all collaborated on a skit that we could present to the school to share our solutions. 

We had an assembly where our brave little group of players stood up on the stage and played out a scenario in which a student was bullied, then bystanders came along and joined in. That's when the upstanders appeared and suggested the apology and forgiveness tool from our Social Emotional Toolbox. A teacher helped the students work through the process, and in the end, the bully and the victim decided to be friends. Happily ever after. 

I wonder if any of you are already anticipating the next chapter of this story. 

When the skit was over, each student introduced themselves and gave a piece of advice about how to stop bullying. When it was Michael's turn came, he said, "Don't bully or you won't be slay." Over the previous ten weeks, I had learned that "slay" was a good thing. It was impressive. It was cool, to borrow a phrase from a previous generation. 

If you had already imagined a scenario in which Michael would end up being a bully, then I suggest you look into getting your multiple subject teaching credential and come join us on the front lines. If you are shocked and dismayed to hear this, you can still join us since this was my reaction as well. 

Just days after the premiere of our little play, Michael and a friend decided that they were going to defend the honor of his little sister by beating up another kid they felt had disrespected her. The other kid was in no way a match for these two bullies who also took advantage of the herd mentality of fifth graders, bringing along half a dozen bystanders. The good news is that a couple of those fifth graders did remember the lessons they had been taught on that Friday afternoon. They became upstanders, and came to tell me about what was about to happen. 

Were you expecting a moment of enlightenment on Michael's part? Sorry to let you down on that one. But not nearly as sorry as I was. The beating was over before it could fully begin, but the damage had been done. Anger and fear had been passed down a chain that continues to be very difficult to break. In the principal's office, Michael was essentially unrepentant, shrugging his shoulders and ignoring any whiff of sad irony in his situation. He's going to miss some of the last recesses he will be allotted here at Horace Mann.

And maybe, when he reflects on this moment in time, he will realize that it wasn't slay. Not in the least.