Get The Tuck Out

 I am a little concerned about the estimated four million viewers of Young Tuck (Er) Carlson. I am worried that they are left in the wilderness of mindless conspiracy without a guide. I suppose I would feel more upset if they hadn't wandered after him like lemmings wearing red baseball caps, but still I can't help wondering who will lead them to the New Promised Land? 

Tucker Carlson, full name Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, was let go by Faux News this past Monday making him one of the very few people to have the distinction of being fired by CNN, MSNBC and Faux News. If he were a baseball player, we would call this "hitting for the cycle," but since he's a TV personality we'll just call it a relief. Maybe not for those eight million slavishly devoted empty vessels waiting for a drop of Young Tuck's wisdom, but for the rest of us who maintain a modicum of free will and common sense. 

Let's take a moment to examine the bar at Faux News. Not the lounge where Jeanine Pirro loads up before her night's broadcast, but rather the levels that Young Master Carlson bounced off of without getting fired. Like the time he insisted that immigrants coming to the United States of making the country “poorer, and dirtier, and more divided." Or when he referred to Iraqis as “semiliterate primitive monkeys." As an apologist for most every incident of racism, he continued to refer to white supremacy as "some kind of hoax." Along similar lines he likened vaccine mandates to Jim Crow laws and operated as a prime source of misinformation during the onset of COVID-19.  He said the mob that stormed the Capitol on January 6, 2021 “were orderly and meek. These were not insurrectionists. They were sightseers.”

And it goes on and on, but the one that may have tripped him up was when he turned his laser antipathy at the cash cow of his network. Shortly after the 2020 election, he texted, “He’s a demonic force, a destroyer. But he’s not going to destroy us. I’ve been thinking about this every day for four years.” And that's the hate that Faux News just can't afford to keep around.

So, bye-bye for now Young Tuck. He's a resilient enough talking head. He'll find a new place to shout at people. Maybe on a street corner selling My Pillow.