Teenaged Hindsight

 "Reggie, did you see the Andrews sent us another card."

"Yeah. I saw it."

"Isn't it nice that after all these years they still stay in touch."

"Yeah. Nice."

"Oh, come on Reggie. You can't still be bitter..."

"Oh, can't I, Betty? Can't I? My 'best friend' in high school ends up stealing my girl and marrying into all that dough, traveling around the world on Mister Lodge's dime..." 

"But if they hadn't gotten together, you and I might never have found each other."

"Right. And I never would have lucked into this catering business that's about to go bankrupt."

"Don't be that way. You know that things don't always work out like on TV. Or comic books."

When I read Archie comics, I wasn't old enough to consider just how hormonal the whole enterprise was. Archie was fortunate to have the attention of Betty, but aspired to date Veronica. Reggie, who was part of the Malt Shoppe gang was also enamored of Veronica, leaving Betty to stand idly by while the boys made fools of themselves in hopes of landing the elusive Ms. Lodge and all that rich girl maintenance. As comic book characters, there was nothing markedly different between the two girls save their hair color and their social status. In the band, Betty played the tambourine, "Ronnie" played the organ (perhaps because her father could buy her one). Way back when, I figured it was an easy enough mystery to solve: pick the girl who puts up with you. 

By the time I was actually in high school, navigating my own relationships, many of the nuances presented by Archie and the gang began to be obscured by my own bad choices. Trying to make sense out of all that emotional, psychological and libidinal input makes "clear thinking" a thing of the past. It's not until you get into your sixties and look back at the way things were and how they are now that it all comes into sharp focus: None of us had a clue what we were doing in high school. Betty could have been so much more assertive. Reggie's Machiavellian attempts at disrupting others' chances for happiness could only turn out bad. Veronica and Reggie were more suited for one another, but that is the precise reason they couldn't end up together. And Archie? He deserved every bad thing that ever happened to him, even if that turned out to be having the life sucked out of him by his evil despot of an eventual father in law. Who among us is truly happy? 

Jughead.