Thursday, November 12, 2015

Doctor DoMuch

Doctor Ben Carson wants to be President of the United States. You might think that a retired neurosurgeon would need no additional credentials beyond the fact that, once upon a time, he was allowed to stick his hands into other people's heads and tinker with their gray matter. Doctor Ben Carson: Gray Matter Tinker. Of course, there are those for whom this amount of training and experience might seem slight or insufficient. That may be why Doctor Ben Carson has felt the need to pump up this resume with some additional bona fides:
He was offered admission to West Point. Or given a scholarship. Or at least he was considered to be a top candidate. Something like that. This shows just how effective he could be as Commander In Chief of our armed services.
In his youth, Doctor Ben Carson was a pretty rough character. He says he even stabbed a guy. He once shot a man just for snoring too loud. Or maybe that was John Wesley Hardin. Still, Doctor Ben Carson is not the one you want to meet up with in a dark alley. Are you listening, Mister China?
Like Navin Johnson, Doctor Ben Carson was born a poor black child. With no small amount of boot-strap pulling all on his own, Doctor Ben Carson became a brain surgeon, perhaps as a direct result of having stabbed a guy in the head.
While attending Yale, Doctor Ben Carson worked closely with Doctor Emmit Brown researching the Flux Capacitor. This shows Doctor Ben Carson's dedication to science and his wish to bring America back to the future.
As a part of his work study program in graduate school, Doctor Ben Carson drew up plans and began digging by hand the path for the Keystone XL pipeline. It was Doctor Ben Carson's idea to call it "XL" because everything he does is "Xtra Large."
It was the soulful side of Doctor Ben Carson that gave Marvin Gaye the original inspiration for "Got To Give It Up," which was eventually stolen by young upstarts Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams and turned into the mega-hit "Blurred Lines." Doctor Ben Carson chose to keep his name out of the subsequent litigation, reminding us all that he was once "too nervous to really get down."
The list goes on: Pop Tarts, the spread offense, a hitch in the Merchant Marines. There's not a lot that Doctor Ben Carson hasn't done. An example to us all.

1 comment:

Kristen Caven said...

Now here's my question: Does Ben Carson take credit for ISIS? Or the other way around?
http://entropicalparadise.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-blame-game.html