Bench Press

Across the country this past week, the National Football League is cleaning house. Coaches are being fired. General Managers are being shown the door. Mostly in Detroit, where such behavior is a matter of course. People in Detroit, professional sports executives or not, don't expect to hold on to a job very long. It comes with the territory. And it comes with a losing record.
On the Left Coast, the power has shifted from the West Bay to the East. Where the overwhelming and all powerful franchise known colloquially as "The Niners" have fallen on tough times. Over in the Land of Oaks, there is newfound hope and resiliency coming from, of all places, "The Black Hole." The San Francisco Forty-Niners have gone to the somewhat extreme step of benching their franchise quarterback.
And now, before my younger brother stops reading along with the rest of my most loyal readers, I will let you all know that you need not despair, for this will not be a sports blog, but rather a sports analogy blog. All of this professional football tumult got me to thinking: What if we were able to bench members of other groups or professions?
You say you don't like the way your trash and recycling service is picking up your garbage, leaving more on the street than it lobs near the truck. My suggestion: Bench them. Bring in the second string. Let those rubbish wranglers watch from the sidelines while the new guys come in and clean up. Did your insurance agent really do the best he could with that settlement? Bench him! Bring in that young upstart, the one fresh out of college with something to prove.
Speaking of proving, we're coming up on an election year. What better way to send a message to the folks in Washington D.C. than to tell some of those less-than-wily veterans to clean out their lockers. Speaker of the House and noted Tight End John Boehner already seems to have received the memo. Now let's see if anyone picks him up on waivers. For now, I think I'll only vote for free agents.