For just a moment, let's forget about the invading hordes of migrants at our southern border. While we're at it, we can take a pause in our panic about climate change and/or global warming. Scientists at Durham University have detected a neighboring galaxy hurtling through the void on a collision course with our Milky Way. They warn that this will bounce Earth out of the Goldilocks Zone. That is the range of temperatures that make it neither too hot or too cold for life as we know it to exist on our just right planet Earth. No five billion dollar wall is going to fix this one. I can stop using aerosol spray cans today and still the Large Magellanic Cloud is still going to come crashing into us. Electric cars? Too late. No help. Impeach the "President?" Sorry. This is a galactic problem. And it's going to happen even before the Andromeda Galaxy plows into us just a little after that.
Okay. But since we're talking about galaxies that are not cell phones, maybe we should flip all the cards before the panic erupts fully. The Large Magellanic Cloud, LMC to its friends, will be bumping into us catastrophically in about two billion years. So we have some time to prepare for all that Armageddon-y type stuff that comes along with galactic collisions. And if that one doesn't get us, then surely the Andromeda Galaxy will finish us off. In about six billion years.
Which reminded me of Escape From The Planet Of The Apes. That's the one that tells the story about Zira and Cornelius coming back to Earth in 1973, and how these talking chimpanzees find their way in Los Angeles. Celebrities at first, it becomes apparent that these ape-o-nauts came from our future, and if something is not done, they will be the progenitors of the race of apes that will enslave all human life. Except for the mutants living under Manhattan who are holding on to that last really big bomb, and once the apes and mutants commence to fighting, the bomb blows up. No more Earth. Probably a good idea to get rid of those chimps, charming though they may be. Because the fear is that two thousand years won't give us enough time to avert that kind of eventual tragedy.
Which is why we had to shoot Zira and Cornelius.
I'm just hoping we can show just a little more forbearance when it comes to blowing up our galactic neighbors. Or get a much bigger wall.