The Voice Of Reason

I know I brought this on myself. I could have used, as some sort of screening process before purchasing, a quick call to the customer service center of the cell phone company that I chose. To begin with, I should say that I avoid interactions with customer service representatives like the plague, since I generally feel that any angst or ennui that I might bring to them is wholly without merit, at least as far as that individual is concerned. Usually I begin these interactions with the following disclaimer: "I know that you have nothing personally to do with the difficulty or problem that I am about to ask you to resolve, but you are about to receive the stress and frustration from my entire day - including the part that your company has played a part in. Now it's your turn to turn that attitude around."
That's where this cell phone thing began. When I bought my cell phone, I barely noticed that it was from Virgin, a very hip company owned by an amateur hot air balloonist. This company is so hip, that it has a persona for the initial customer service interactions when you call their 800 number. "Simone" is perhaps just a little too cool for words, at least intelligible ones. I suspect that her hope is to set you as a user at ease with her breezy, urban tone. I confess - if I am going to talk to a computer, I want it to sound like Stephen Hawking. I am no fan of this faux conversation that I am asked to have with a voice recognition machine. I know that simply repeating "agent" or "operator" will usually push me through the maze just as soon as pounding on the * or # key, but what I'm after is my pound of flesh. I want that pure chewing satisfaction of getting an obsequious breathing entity to respond to my trivial concerns.
Once I did get through to a human being, a very pleasant woman whose name was Sharon (not too hip), she quickly resolved my issues and did what a good customer service representative should do: She made me feel like I had a right to call her anytime with my problems - as they related to my cell phone service. And before I hung up, I asked her if she had heard any complaints about her electronic doppelganger. She said that she had a tally sheet next to her desk on which she kept track of customers who had trouble "relating" to "Simone." She told me that she would happily add me to an ever-expanding list. Thank you, Sharon, and I hope you have a wonderful evening.