A Shiny New Year

I've felt a little bad about the gloomy way that I sent 2006 to the shed. Certainly there can't be that much doom ahead of us in 2007, can there? Well, , Pat "God's little elf" Robertson, would like us all to think again. Robertson said God told him a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007. Major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September. "I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that." He knew it was the Lord because he pronounced it "New-Clear" instead of "Nook-Yoo-Lur."
While I admit that Pat Robertson is no Criswell, but he did remind us all that last year God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America's coastline in 2006. Even though the U.S. was not hit with a tsunami, Robertson on Tuesday cited last spring's heavy rains and flooding in New England as partly fulfilling the prediction. He even predicted that President Pinhead would have "victory after victory" in his second term.
Are you terrified yet? Robertson said God also told him that the U.S. only feigns friendship with
Israel and that U.S. policies are pushing Israel toward "national suicide." Remember back in January 2006 when Pat suggested that God punished then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon with a stroke for ceding Israeli-controlled land to the Palestinians. I confess that I tend to miss Pat's broadcast most evenings as it conflicts with my viewing of "The Daily Show". For some big laughs, I just might have to reset my Tivo. In the meantime, start digging those bunkers!