"Who pays the price? I'm not going to pay a personal price. My kids are too old, and my grandchild is too young," to serve, Barbara Boxer told Condoleezza Rice. "You're not going to pay a price, as I understand it, within immediate family. So who pays the price? The American military and their families.''
No, it's not quite the Donald/Rosie feud, but it is quite the provocative suggestion. I listened to the senator's remarks a number of times, went back and read them, and then waited for some response from Secretary Rice. Then it occurred to me that this is the beginning of the culture war that was inevitable as soon as the election in November was over. Public opinion is erupting all over the place. The comfort zone is being eliminated, and the hard reality of war is coming home for everyone. While there are elements of Senator Boxer's comments that I agree with, I feel that they did not belong in a public forum. In an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle, Ms. Boxer reflected on her assumptions: "I was just saying what I felt.'' She said she would not apologize for the exchange because "I delivered a very strong message and tried to find common ground with her ... and I tried to draw us together, and not apart.''
Perhaps feelings are best left to closed rooms and personal blogs. The missing component in this discussion is that there are millions of men, women and children who are missing their husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons and daughters today because of the war in Iraq. There is no moral high ground here. The cost is apparent in every casualty - civilian or military. I can sleep peacefully at night because I know where my son is sleeping. I can remember a time when my mother was planning to ride up to Canada on the back of a motorcycle with my older brother to escape a draft that he was never part of and a war that ended before that choice was truly necessary.
In an all volunteer army, a great deal of respect is due to those who choose to serve. In a world in which women continue to struggle to find equal opportunities with equal reward, a woman's career choice should be respected. At a time when rhetoric is becoming the common discourse, the simple words should be used - words from two thousand years ago:
Hecuba: Alas! Alas! Alas! Ilium is ablaze; the fire consumes the citadel, the roofs of our city, the tops of the walls!
Chorus: Like smoke blown to heaven on the wings of the wind, our country, our conquered country, perishes. Its palaces are overrun by the fierce flames and the murderous spear.
Hecuba: O land that reared my children!
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