Feel Bad? Take A Pill!

To quote one of my favorite authors, Dave Barry, "I am not making this up." In light of the premonitions of God's little elf, Pat Robertson, about our pending nuclear annihilation (okay, so it's probably only going to affect several million people) - I decided to start figuring out how I was going to live through what will most certainly be our nation's darkest hour.
Did you know that since the "dirty-bomb" scares after September 11, 2001, there have been a number of states and institutions that have stockpiled Potassium Iodide pills. These pills will protect your thyroid from any of that nasty radiation that will kill everyone else around you. Imagine how smug you'll feel as those doubting Thomases drop like flies with your thyroid clean and fresh as a summer's day.
And now a little extra reality from About.com: "While demand for the drug has never been higher, potassium iodide may not help with so called 'dirty bombs.' It's thought that such bombs would likely use other radioactive materials, and not radioactive iodine, and the drug is only thyroid-protective in the even of exposure to radioactive iodine." Oops. What about all those Potassium Iodide pills that have been purchased in California, and Washington D.C. and anywhere else fear needs a magic cure? There is even a federal law requiring the Department of Health and Human Services to draw up guidelines for stockpiling and distributing the pills. Now I feel better, knowing that a government agency is looking out for my thyroid's health.
Still feeling skeptical? If you knew that Iosat makes a fruit flavored pill for kids, would that make you feel more secure? If you buy more than three hundred packs (eight pills apiece), you can get them for as low as $5.99 each? Why not buy your whole Emergency RadDecon kit for just $299.99? That warm feeling your getting is a sense of security.
Or maybe it's your DNA being scrambled even as you choke down your protective blast of iodine. What about the rest of your internal organs? Maybe there isn't much that can be done to save those, but your thyroid will be your legacy. Or maybe Pat Robertson owns a big chunk of Iosat pharmaceutical stock.