Monday, January 22, 2007

Born Under A Bad Sign

I'm not expecting to send a ton of business to, nor do I expect to scare anyone away. That being said, here's what a study conducted by these blokes tells us: astrological signs are a significant factor in predicting car accidents. Still with me? I know. I tend to glaze over just a bit when I see the words "astrological signs" in any sentence. Care for an example? "Experts say astrological signs help determine the outcome of the Iraqi conflict." If you're still reading at the period, then you'll be with me for the next few paragraphs.
How doe astrological signs help predict car accidents? I reward your curiosity by telling you that Libras (born between September 23 and October 22), followed by Aquarians (January 20-February 18) and Aries (March 21-April 19), as the worst offenders for tickets and accidents. Leos (July 23-August 22) and then Geminis (May 21-June 20) were found to be the best overall. And what was the reaction to this news? The first and most logical one would be to breathe a sigh of relief if your birthday doesn't fall into any of those month-long periods because you would spend a good amount of time trying to prove the theory correct or patently false. For my part, I was pleased to see that the somewhat arbitrary cutoff that occurs in all zodiac charts for Gemini narrowly missed my birthday. I am told this is because I am a "cusp" and I maintain the attributes of both Gemini and Cancer. I used to be a horrible risk. I bounced my first three cars off of trees, rocks and other cars for a good ten years before I really got the hang of the whole driving thing. Lee Romanov is happy to share his findings: Leos, described along with the study results, are "generous, and comfortable in sharing the roadway." Aries, on the other hand, "have a 'me first' childlike nature that drives Aries into trouble."
Now, that's what I call science. Gemini/Cancer cusps tend to have a "you've got to be kidding me" attitude that keeps them from finding this anything more than an idle time sink. Lee, however, is president of, and he wants you to know "I'd rather get into a car with a 24-year-old Leo than a 25-year-old Aries." And in case you were curious, I won't be getting into a car with Lee.


mrs. id said...

Well, there ya go. A reason I'm such a fan of the Three Second Rule. Rrrrowr.

(It only SEEMS dangerous when I drive... it's actually not.)

Anonymous said...

George W. Bush is a Cancer with Leo rising and a Libra Moon. Surely it is written in the stars that he can't but drive any endeavor, automotive or otherwise, straight into the biggest, messiest, most godawful tree?