Unless you live in South Florida, and if you are one of those who find themselves living in Dade County my apologies, you may have missed the excitement at a Miami mall on New Year's Day. Not the release of a special edition of the Grand Theft Auto video game. Not a Mar A Lago related event.
None of those. This was, if you believe anything you hear coming out of the Sunshine State, an alien invasion. Not "alien" as in immigrants. Unless we're talking about extraterrestrial migration.
On the first day of 2024, there was a massive law enforcement response to a disturbance at the Bayside Marketplace. Dozens of police cars descended on the mall, leading to all manner of speculation for those outside looking in that there must have been something far more nefarious than the initial reports of "teenagers fighting."
The always dependable presence of social media that quickly filled the void of responsible journalism, resulting on multiple reports of eight to ten foot tall aliens terrorizing those late-season bargain hunters. Because of course this makes more sense than teenagers fighting. Who would believe that numerous fistfights and fireworks would attract so much attention from the local constabulary?
It is Florida, after all. And as soon as authorties start to huddle together to issue their denials, the possibility that they were covering up the outer space invasion became all kinds of more reasonable. Especially when those videos started to appear. Who could doubt that Miami was going to be the beachhead for the coming otherworldly occupation force?
And it seems obvious what the next steps will be: get all those E.T.s on a bus and ship them up to Chicago.
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