Laws Of Attraction

 It is a little surprising to me that the above average genius that is the mind currently leading the pack of Republicans, dwindled to just three now, is unable to grasp the concept of magnetism. This is a being, related to humans in some tropical fruit way, that seems to attract all sorts of things: Bad energy. Bad people. Federal indictments.

But for today's discussion, let's just talk about failed relationships. The former game show host has been married three times. In each of those unions, he has strayed outside what most consider the bounds of holy matrimony. So much of what has gone on in the nearly fifty years since he "settled down" with first wife Ivana back in 1977 is rumor and hearsay that I hesitate to bring them up as facts, but like so many things associated with the twice-impeached sack of protoplasm, the truth probably skews more toward the more tawdry end of the spectrum. 

It's a pretty well established fact that he of the multiple indictments cheated on his current wife while she was pregnant. With a porn star. That's all part of one of the many and varied court cases currently pending against the former "president." The one that includes hush money being paid to the star of "Bad Girls At Play." Just your standard First Lady type stuff. 

Then there's the matter of head MAGAt's first wife, whom he chose to bury on the golf course he owns in New Jersey. To borrow a line from another political opera, "Everything's legal in New Jersey." It would seem that there were some tax breaks to be had by having his ex-wife's remains interred somewhere in the rough near the back nine. 

I bring this up because, in addition to dealing with the onslaught of legal troubles that cling to him like well, magnets, this past week found more bad news for the serial adulterer: Melania's mother passed away. We don't know this because of any communication emanating from "Truth Social" or the many and varied appearances this suspect has made over the past week. He has been far too busy making absurd claims about magnets and immunity, concepts which in spite of his ALL CAPS bloviation, he seems to know little about. 

His mother in law? That's something else for his current wife to deal with. His mother in law who just happened to be the same age he is. Mister Science is far too busy with the affairs of the world, if you'll pardon the expression.

On second thought. Don't pardon him. For anything. Ever.