Intelligent LIfe?

 Watching as much televised sports as I do, I sometimes wonder what aliens monitoring our electronic transmissions must think about our culture. 

Do they really need all those pickup trucks? Perhaps only to move the metric tons of chips required to sustain life on our planet. Of course, if you own a pickup truck to haul your snacks around, you'll probably want to insure it against any sort of mishap involving dip or soda. 

They might also wonder about the attention span of your average earther. All these folks sitting watching a game really need to see bits and pieces of the game they are watching over and over again. In slow motion. From above. From below. From a camera suspended by wires above the stadium. With all of those cameras and wires and cables, how can the paying customers see the contest they were fortunate enough to spend their children's college fund on tickets? 

But more than anything else, why would such a large portion of the world sit still on a Sunday afternoon when there is so much room in the parking lots at the nearby mall? While a few dozen grown men throw themselves about in the most extraordinary ways, vast chunks of the population sit very still, save for the occasional trip to the potty to void the beverages they have been sold over the course of the afternoon. Why aren't they encouraged to go out and be active in vaguely athletic ways? 

Because you wouldn't want to miss a commercial for the sporting event that is coming up next week. 

Stupid humans.