Move Along

 I blame Obi Won Kenobi. 

Okay, to be more precise, I blame George Lucas. It was his brilliant idea to throw out into the middle of the pop culture lake the concept of Jedi Mind Trick. You know the one, where he's sitting in Luke's landspeeder, and stormtroopers approach looking to question him. With a wave of his hand, he says, "These aren't the droids you're looking for," and the nimrods in white helmets repeat "These aren't the droids we're looking for," and tell them to move along. 

And that's it. I completely understand that stormtroopers are not a true test of intellectual agility, but the precedent was set in this moment for what was yet to come. In real life. Remember how we were told that "This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration. Period?" That moment should have tipped us off to a trend that was going to consume our lives for the next four years. And beyond. Somebody counted the votes back then and noted that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. By nearly three million. Undeterred, the loser insisted that he would have won "if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally." No numbers or facts to back that up. Just a Jedi Mind Trick. A really bad Jedi Mind Trick.

But guess what? You don't have to be a really good Jedi to fool really weak minds. Like when video was released of George Floyd being murdered and we were told not to believe what we were seeing. These weren't the droids we were looking for. You can move along. 

Thankfully, some of us started to catch on. Seeing is believing, after all. Which didn't keep all those weak minds from believing in child porn death cults made up by faceless Sith Lords on Al Gore's Internet. So when the Big Orange Wolf urged those weak minds to "fight like hell" to undo the reality which laid out in front of them, they did. Five people died in that fight. Really. Not pretend. They've got those bodies and hours of video, some of which was shot by the stormtroopers themselves. "That was no insurrection. That was just a group of interested citizens taking a tour of the Capitol." 

Move along. 

The voting machines were rigged.

The ballots were printed on bamboo.

The virus will just go away when the weather changes.

These aren't the droids you're looking for.

I'll be reinstated in August. 

Just you wait. 

Move along.