What Are The Odds?

"I know for a fact that any self-respecting woman who walks past a construction site and doesn’t get a whistle will turn around and walk past again and again until she does get one."

"Look at that face. Would anybody vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president? I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not supposed to say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?"

"Why didn’t they ask you to be in the picture? I guess they saw your face."

"I promise not to talk about your massive plastic surgeries that didn't work."

“It’s a f***ing baby! All it does is eat and s**t! It doesn’t know the difference between you and anyone else! All you need is some black who doesn’t even have to speak English to rescue it from a burning building!”

 "[S]omeone who would come to my office 'begging' for campaign contributions not so long ago (and would do anything for them)."

"All of you girls line up to give him [oral sex] as a wedding present."

"You never get to the face because the body's so good."

"What, is the guy dumb and blind? What the hell is he marrying you for?"

"Unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man — he made a good decision."

"I’d like to do that piece of meat."

"What do you think of Lindsay Lohan? There's something there, right? But you have to like freckles. I've seen a close-up of her chest. And a lot of freckles. Are you into freckles? ... She's probably deeply troubled, and therefore great in bed. How come the deeply troubled women — deeply, deeply troubled — they're always the best in bed?

"Look at the ass on her."

"I've got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything ... Grab them by the p***y. You can do anything." 

"If your conversation during a presidential election is about some guy wearing a dress and whether he, she, or it can go to the locker room with their daughter, that’s not a winning formula for most people."

If you discerned that the odd number comments came from Mike Bloomberg, give yourself a point. If you knew the even numbers were from our current "president," I am sorry.