I Owe the World an Apology

Caucus.
I know. It's the fourteen year old boy's voice inside my head that repeats anything that even sounds dirty. It sets off a chorus of giggles in there that tends to limit my focus. Heh. Heh. "Focus."
And not the reality for those who do not suffer this odd impairment. In the weeks leading up to the Iowa caucus, the American political machine had all of their chips on this mid-western state with a population about the size of the number of votes Hillary Clinton beat the guy who eventually found his way into the White House: Three million. Two million of them are registered to vote. A third of them are registered as Republicans. Another third is registered with no party affiliation. The final third, six hundred thousand of them and change, are Democrats. It is this group that got all the attention last Monday night, the night before the State of the Union address, two days before the impeachment trial concluded.
And the best that Iowa could deliver was "not yet." Through a series of what was labeled "inconsistencies" by the Iowa Democratic Party, the world that was holding their collective breath awaiting news of any sort was told to wait. Which had the effect of doubling down on the doubt that had been circling this quaint tradition of having a bunch of folks milling about a school gymnasium or living room and, according to the Des Moines Register "At the caucuses, participants will discuss their presidential preferences, elect local party leaders and discuss issues that make up the party’s platform. The caucuses may last a few hours."
Heh. Heh. They said "a few hours." 
What caused the holdup? Some point to the new app that was supposed to speed things along for the precinct captains. That crashed and burned. The backup plan of calling in the results of how voters milled about in their gyms and living rooms did not seem to be able to keep pace with the heavy turnout. Troy Price, chair of the Iowa Democratic party assured us all: “We have every indication that our systems were secure and there was not a cyber security intrusion. In preparation for the caucuses, our systems were tested by independent cybersecurity consultants.” 
Why would you need cyber security to monitor a bunch of Iowans walking from one side of the of the room to the other, or why not just register as a Democrat and stand in the middle of the room just to mess with the "process.?" Not that any such thing would happen. Could happen. 
Meanwhile, the "president" cruised to victory with his party's glowing endorsement and a full head of steam while Democrats across the country tried to figure out what happened. It's enough to make you think that caucus is a dirty word.