Tuesday, December 03, 2019


I would love to tell you that I had a hard time getting accepted into a university. Initially, I cast my bread upon the waters of academic institutions across the western United States. Eventually, I was rewarded with a pittance of a scholarship to the College of Santa Fe. I did not spend days waiting anxiously at my mailbox hoping for a school of some regal reputation to deign to grant me entrance. I was pretty sure that as a clever boy I would find my way to that next level.
Of course, after I accepted their kind offer, I bailed. Never attended one class. I was emotionally ill-equipped for such an adventure. So I enrolled in the school of hard knocks, fast food division one. After a year of slinging roast beef, I was ready to test the waters once again. This time I kept things a little closer to home. I wrote a doozy of an essay and got into Colorado College. First try. Turns out I was pretty good at this college acceptance thing. This time I stuck with it. For a year anyway. Then I skedaddled back up the highway to the University of Colorado, where I could walk home to my parents' house. If I needed to.
The thing is, I don't think my experience was all that common. Why else would these Hollywood types risk prison time to get their offspring into the college of their choice? Which brings me to the real point, our evil empire of a government chose to create a fake university in order to lure immigrants to our country, charge them fees and tuition, and then proceeded to arrest and deport them. Close to two hundred fifty wide-eyed and hopeful undergraduate candidates felt the sting of ICE as they played their ugly practical joke on those seeking higher education, and refuge. 
Why wouldn't they? A chance to better themselves, and maybe carve out the tiniest slice of the American Dream? 
Ha ha. Silly foreigners. So easy to fool. Prospective students paid around twelve thousand dollars per year in tuition and fees to attend the fake school, all entered the U.S. with legal student visas. Surprise! No school. No future. Do not pass Go. Do not collect a full refund from this illusory university. ICE officials have claimed that people who applied to the University of Farmington, that claimed to be a “nationally accredited business and STEM institution," should have quickly realized that the university was fake as no classes in a physical location were offered.
There is no free lunch. Or free education. Or freedom. Why hold out hope that someone would actually grant wishes to anyone. Ever? Right now there are millions of young men and women suffering over those college essays and hoping that someone will give them a chance, even if the have no classes in a physical location. I can assure you that both times I took it as my mission to be accepted by an institution of higher education, I never questioned their qualifications. They questioned mine. That was the game.
Am I smug because I managed to score both times I had the ball? No.
Well, maybe a little.
But now that I know our government was in the business of tricking folks into trying to gain admission to their pretend school? Only shame.

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