This One Time At Band Camp...

The first time I saw my wife to be, I was perched atop a Pepsi machine. This Pepsi machine was located in the hallway of my high school's band room. Aside from allowing me the optimum vantage point for spying sophomore girls and other potential targets for abuse, this machine was the engine that kept the Boulder High School Band running. Three of the six buttons dispensed Mountain Dew. It was the drink of choice for bandies. Even though my friends ingested Dew by the gallon, I remained a cola man.
I knew of one beanpole of a lad, who was a year ahead of me, who could reach his gangly arm up inside the mechanism of the machine to pull out a can or two - when nobody was looking. When I was a senior, I had another reason for sitting on top of the Pepsi machine (because of the logo plastered on the side, not as much for the contents): If I rocked back and forth, with a little bit of help from one the few burly inhabitants of Bandiland, I could tip it forward against the adjacent wall, and cans of soda would roll out. We needed a certain amount of time and discretion for such a maneuver as it made a good deal of noise and then needed to be rocked back onto its base. This required a lookout or two, making sure that the band director or some other administrative type wasn't headed in our direction. Each tip would generate three or four sodas, and even the band goodies (or "B.G.s") would keep their mouths shut for a free can of Dew.
I feel sorry for kids these days. Music programs are being cut back, and vending machines have all but disappeared from high school campuses. Recently a high school In Colorado Springs banned a caffeine-packed energy drink and 7-Eleven pulled it from Colorado stores after some students said it made them sick and shaky and caused their hearts to race. To this I can only say, "What good is youth, then?" I suppose if I had to travel all the way to the local 7-Eleven to get my wicked caffeine and sugar fix, and had to pay for it at that, I never would have met my wife. Funny how things work out, isn't it?