Okay, I will promise not to make any Webelos jokes here. After that one, anyway. The Walt Disney Company will cut funding to the Boy Scouts of America
beginning in 2015 because of a policy that bans gay adult leaders in the
organization. That means the Boys Scouts of America will have to go somewhere else to find funding for their pup tents and neckerchiefs. The Boy Scouts organization is "disappointed" by the decision, which
will affect the organization's ability to serve children, Deron Smith, a
Boy Scouts spokesman, said in a statement Sunday. What did they want? Just last year the Boy Scouts of America lifted their ban on gay youth. Wasn't that forward thinking enough?
Apparently not. Even though Disney is not a direct contributor to the Boy Scouts, but it donates money to some troops in exchange for volunteer hours completed by their employees. Feel free to imagine your new troop leader, Goofy. Or Donald Duck. Of course, if you were lucky enough to tear Mister Duck away from his very busy production schedule, you Scouts might be shocked to find that this Hollywood type tends to show up for work most days without his pants. He seems to be sending this message to his nephews as well.
It is possible that I am the exact wrong person to ask about this, having had precious little experience with Boy Scouts of America. My older brother was a Boy Scout, and he seemed to like it just fine. I really appreciate that whole "be prepared" thing. I do wonder if somehow they aren't following their own message. This is 2014, after all, and times have changed. If you want Disney money, you've got to play by Disney rules. Or maybe you can just join the Junior Woodchucks (pants optional).
Friday, March 07, 2014
Thursday, March 06, 2014
Choice
They're casting the new Gilligan's Island movie. Yes, the three hour tour which has now lasted half a century, continues. Whether or not producers choose to play the whole thing as camp or as a precursor to "Lost," the choices ahead of them are daunting. There is no more crushing and eternal debate than the one set up in 1964: Ginger or Mary Ann?
Sherwood Schwartz set up this dynamic in the very first episode: Small town girl Mary Ann Summers was played by Dawn Wells, while Hollywood bombshell Ginger Grant was embodied by Tina Louise. The competition was initially played down, but became apparent throughout the three year run of the series: girl next door or sex kitten? They were both citizens of the Island, but as each season ran into the next, viewers couldn't help but notice the friction.
I believe this duality was drawn from an earlier source: Archie comics. Betty was the wholesome blond. Veronica was the spoiled brunette. Who would Archie choose? On Gilligan's Island, this pairing off was never as explicit, but one could imagine the challenge of three eligible bachelors vying for the attention of two potential mates. For Archie, things were simpler, only periodically was his choice tempered by the addition of Reggie into the equation. Jughead was a non-factor.
This tableau was echoed in the struggle between Chrissie and Janet on Three's Company, though casting directors flipped the table here once again, putting the bimbo in the blond while the brunette returned to the down-to-earth one. Shortly after this, came what was, for me, the most difficult choice: Bailey Quarters versus Jennifer Marlowe. The men who worked at WKRP in Cincinnati seemed at all time willing to fall at the feet of the hyper-sexualilzed Jennifer while ignoring the obvious charms of Ms. Quarters.
Perhaps you share my quandary, or perhaps you didn't make it past that first sentence.
Sherwood Schwartz set up this dynamic in the very first episode: Small town girl Mary Ann Summers was played by Dawn Wells, while Hollywood bombshell Ginger Grant was embodied by Tina Louise. The competition was initially played down, but became apparent throughout the three year run of the series: girl next door or sex kitten? They were both citizens of the Island, but as each season ran into the next, viewers couldn't help but notice the friction.
I believe this duality was drawn from an earlier source: Archie comics. Betty was the wholesome blond. Veronica was the spoiled brunette. Who would Archie choose? On Gilligan's Island, this pairing off was never as explicit, but one could imagine the challenge of three eligible bachelors vying for the attention of two potential mates. For Archie, things were simpler, only periodically was his choice tempered by the addition of Reggie into the equation. Jughead was a non-factor.
This tableau was echoed in the struggle between Chrissie and Janet on Three's Company, though casting directors flipped the table here once again, putting the bimbo in the blond while the brunette returned to the down-to-earth one. Shortly after this, came what was, for me, the most difficult choice: Bailey Quarters versus Jennifer Marlowe. The men who worked at WKRP in Cincinnati seemed at all time willing to fall at the feet of the hyper-sexualilzed Jennifer while ignoring the obvious charms of Ms. Quarters.
Perhaps you share my quandary, or perhaps you didn't make it past that first sentence.
Wednesday, March 05, 2014
What Are Your Neighbors Up To?
Sarah Palin would like us all to know that she was right. "Yes, I could see this one from Alaska,” she wrote. “I'm
usually not one to Told-Ya-So, but I did, despite my accurate
prediction being derided as ‘an extremely far-fetched scenario’ by the
‘high-brow’ Foreign Policy magazine. Here’s what this ‘stupid’ ‘insipid
woman’ predicted back in 2008: ‘After the Russian Army invaded the
nation of Georgia, Senator Obama's
reaction was one of indecision and moral equivalence, the kind of
response that would only encourage Russia's Putin to invade Ukraine
next.’”
Okay. Points to the ex-governor for calling the Russian invasion of Ukraine six years ago, but she will lose some petals off her Courtesy Daisy for usually not being one to "Told-Ya-So." In my experience, that's pretty much how she's made her way in the public eye since she arrived. While voters and her own party have distanced themselves since her initial flurry of mixed messages in the 2008 election, she has continued to spray invective at whatever situation she felt merited it. Regarding the U.S. and NATO bombing of Libya, March 29, 2011, "I haven't heard the president state that we're at war. That's why I too am not knowing - do we use the term intervention? Do we use war? Do we use squirmish? What is it?"
After being asked how she would handle the current hostilities between the two Koreas during an interview on Glenn Beck's radio show, November 24, 2010, the once and future Republican candidate said, "But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies."
On June 30, 2010 she wrote this on her Facebook page: "We have a President, perhaps for the very first time since the founding of our republic, who doesn't appear to believe that America is the greatest earthly force for good the world has ever known."
Or what she had to say on Fox News, June 15, 2010 about solving the Gulf oil spill crisis, "What the federal government should have done is accept the assistance of foreign countries, of entrepreneurial Americans who have had solution that they wanted presented. The Dutch and the Norwegians, they are known for dikes and for cleaning up water and for dealing with spills."
I guess what I'm saying is this: Even a stopped clock can be right twice a day.
Okay. Points to the ex-governor for calling the Russian invasion of Ukraine six years ago, but she will lose some petals off her Courtesy Daisy for usually not being one to "Told-Ya-So." In my experience, that's pretty much how she's made her way in the public eye since she arrived. While voters and her own party have distanced themselves since her initial flurry of mixed messages in the 2008 election, she has continued to spray invective at whatever situation she felt merited it. Regarding the U.S. and NATO bombing of Libya, March 29, 2011, "I haven't heard the president state that we're at war. That's why I too am not knowing - do we use the term intervention? Do we use war? Do we use squirmish? What is it?"
After being asked how she would handle the current hostilities between the two Koreas during an interview on Glenn Beck's radio show, November 24, 2010, the once and future Republican candidate said, "But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies."
On June 30, 2010 she wrote this on her Facebook page: "We have a President, perhaps for the very first time since the founding of our republic, who doesn't appear to believe that America is the greatest earthly force for good the world has ever known."
Or what she had to say on Fox News, June 15, 2010 about solving the Gulf oil spill crisis, "What the federal government should have done is accept the assistance of foreign countries, of entrepreneurial Americans who have had solution that they wanted presented. The Dutch and the Norwegians, they are known for dikes and for cleaning up water and for dealing with spills."
I guess what I'm saying is this: Even a stopped clock can be right twice a day.
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Post No Bills
The fact that my son is now receiving more mail than I am comes as no real surprise. I don't tend to get a lot in the first place. Mostly what I get are offers for some form of insurance, usually connected to my job. Most weeks, if it weren't for my subscription to Entertainment Weekly, I could probably go a month or two without ever getting so much as a postcard. That's fine with me, since the bulk of the correspondence that fills our mailbox comes addressed to my wife, supply sergeant and chief financial officer.
Still, it's a little strange to be dragging in stacks of letters, fliers and oversize envelopes for my son. It used to be that his monthly issue of Car and Driver kept him content. Now his desk is frequently littered with unopened requests for his attention, coming from institutions from across the country, begging him to consider them in his future plans. Especially enjoyable are the full color maps of campuses that we may never visit, but they do inspire a sense of nostalgia. This isn't because of any connection to academia, they are reminiscent of the fold-out diagrams of Disneyland that we continue to drag home after each and every visit, just in case the geography of that place should ever change in the slightest way.
Somewhere beneath the deluge of junk mail, however, is this undercurrent of anxiety: Our little boy is getting ready to leave us. After years of insisting that he would go to college in Berkeley so that he could still sleep at home, his sights have begun to expand. He actively entertains invitations from schools in Vermont. He pores over glossy photos that entice him to become an Tyler Texas Patriot. He gets so many of these dispatches from institutes of higher learning that many of them simply go unopened. Too much information, not enough time for a high school junior to take it all in.
But I do. I look at them all and start to think about the airline tickets home for the holidays. I imagine the road trips to this or that destination. I wonder if someday there will be a home for my son in a place like Texas or Vermont. Or Malibu. Or somewhere from whence we I will receive mail from my son. Asking for money.
Still, it's a little strange to be dragging in stacks of letters, fliers and oversize envelopes for my son. It used to be that his monthly issue of Car and Driver kept him content. Now his desk is frequently littered with unopened requests for his attention, coming from institutions from across the country, begging him to consider them in his future plans. Especially enjoyable are the full color maps of campuses that we may never visit, but they do inspire a sense of nostalgia. This isn't because of any connection to academia, they are reminiscent of the fold-out diagrams of Disneyland that we continue to drag home after each and every visit, just in case the geography of that place should ever change in the slightest way.
Somewhere beneath the deluge of junk mail, however, is this undercurrent of anxiety: Our little boy is getting ready to leave us. After years of insisting that he would go to college in Berkeley so that he could still sleep at home, his sights have begun to expand. He actively entertains invitations from schools in Vermont. He pores over glossy photos that entice him to become an Tyler Texas Patriot. He gets so many of these dispatches from institutes of higher learning that many of them simply go unopened. Too much information, not enough time for a high school junior to take it all in.
But I do. I look at them all and start to think about the airline tickets home for the holidays. I imagine the road trips to this or that destination. I wonder if someday there will be a home for my son in a place like Texas or Vermont. Or Malibu. Or somewhere from whence we I will receive mail from my son. Asking for money.
Monday, March 03, 2014
Over My Head
I could hear the rain tapping on the sides of our house. It was a welcome sound, mostly because it is a sound we have missed over this past very dry winter. There was also comfort in the drip drip drop of the showers. I was inside my house. There was a roof over my head and I was able to experience the rain from an auditory perspective.
There are plenty of people for whom this is not the case. Here in the city I call home, there are at least three thousand people for whom the rain is no comfort at all. The number of homeless people in Alameda County is double that, and as I watched the Doppler Radar pictures of the storm moving across the state of California, I thought about the hundreds of thousands of people in its path who were looking for shelter. What were those basic needs? Food. Clothing. Shelter. They weren't listening to the rain. They were soaking in it.
And so I took solace in my house. I thanked my father, since it was his life insurance that gave us a down payment on the place we call home. I have often reflected on the tragic game show nature of that transaction. Would I rather be living in a one bedroom apartment, wishing that I had the scratch to be making the jump from renter to ownership, or sitting on the couch in a much larger manse where we have ample room to build and expand our lives. Sometimes I take it for granted. That makes me ungrateful. I think I would rather be grateful. Grateful for the roof over my head and the gift I was given all those years ago.
It's the true sorrow of being homeless. First you need the house, then you can make a home. I'm glad I got that chance, one I should never take for granted.
There are plenty of people for whom this is not the case. Here in the city I call home, there are at least three thousand people for whom the rain is no comfort at all. The number of homeless people in Alameda County is double that, and as I watched the Doppler Radar pictures of the storm moving across the state of California, I thought about the hundreds of thousands of people in its path who were looking for shelter. What were those basic needs? Food. Clothing. Shelter. They weren't listening to the rain. They were soaking in it.
And so I took solace in my house. I thanked my father, since it was his life insurance that gave us a down payment on the place we call home. I have often reflected on the tragic game show nature of that transaction. Would I rather be living in a one bedroom apartment, wishing that I had the scratch to be making the jump from renter to ownership, or sitting on the couch in a much larger manse where we have ample room to build and expand our lives. Sometimes I take it for granted. That makes me ungrateful. I think I would rather be grateful. Grateful for the roof over my head and the gift I was given all those years ago.
It's the true sorrow of being homeless. First you need the house, then you can make a home. I'm glad I got that chance, one I should never take for granted.
Sunday, March 02, 2014
Children Of The Sun
Let's hear it for Arizona Governor, Jan Brewer: She courageously vetoed a controversial bill that would have allowed business owners to
deny service to gays and lesbians because of religious beliefs. This probably won't do much to keep business owners from denying service to gays and lesbians because of their existence, but it's a step in the right direction. A very small, but now wholly insignificant step.
This is a state, after all, that ignores daylight savings time. Who cares about all those weak-kneed liberals who allow the government to make them turn their clocks endlessly back and forth. Not in Arizona. Of course, this does cause trouble when they try and figure out the Fox News Schedule.
Arizona took an additional six years to decide that a national holiday honoring the life and work of civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. was a good idea. Again, these folks won't be pushed around. Just because some guy had a dream and he got shot, we all have to take a day off? Not even Chuck D and Public Enemy could bully the Grand Canyon State into submission. Ronald Reagan, icon of conservatism, only signed the bill that made Dr. King's birthday a national holiday with great reluctance. Why should there be yet another federal holiday? Keep the government out of my weekends!
In 2008, voters in Arizona voted against gay marriage, but for Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Sheriff Joe went ahead with his progressive agenda, including having inmates wear pink underwear, sending a very loud and mixed message to the locked down population.
Then there's the story of the Maverick and his sidekick Sarah. We can't blame Arizona alone for that one. Alaska is just as culpable in this matter. Maybe it has something to do with states that start with the letter A. Arkansas? Alabama?
Four years ago, Arizona passed SB 1070, the most stringent law on illegal immigration to be found anywhere in these United States. Under this statute, failure to carry immigration documents became a crime and gave the police broad power to detain anyone suspected of being in the country illegally. The Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods Act was upheld by the US Supreme Court, giving authorities the right to arrest anyone when there is "reasonable suspicion (read "brown")" that they are in this country illegally.
I suppose it's a good thing that the already overtaxed law enforcement officers in Arizona were not called upon to have to determine sexual preference via "reasonable suspicion." Those pink bloomers might not tell the whole story.
This is a state, after all, that ignores daylight savings time. Who cares about all those weak-kneed liberals who allow the government to make them turn their clocks endlessly back and forth. Not in Arizona. Of course, this does cause trouble when they try and figure out the Fox News Schedule.
Arizona took an additional six years to decide that a national holiday honoring the life and work of civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. was a good idea. Again, these folks won't be pushed around. Just because some guy had a dream and he got shot, we all have to take a day off? Not even Chuck D and Public Enemy could bully the Grand Canyon State into submission. Ronald Reagan, icon of conservatism, only signed the bill that made Dr. King's birthday a national holiday with great reluctance. Why should there be yet another federal holiday? Keep the government out of my weekends!
In 2008, voters in Arizona voted against gay marriage, but for Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Sheriff Joe went ahead with his progressive agenda, including having inmates wear pink underwear, sending a very loud and mixed message to the locked down population.
Then there's the story of the Maverick and his sidekick Sarah. We can't blame Arizona alone for that one. Alaska is just as culpable in this matter. Maybe it has something to do with states that start with the letter A. Arkansas? Alabama?
Four years ago, Arizona passed SB 1070, the most stringent law on illegal immigration to be found anywhere in these United States. Under this statute, failure to carry immigration documents became a crime and gave the police broad power to detain anyone suspected of being in the country illegally. The Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods Act was upheld by the US Supreme Court, giving authorities the right to arrest anyone when there is "reasonable suspicion (read "brown")" that they are in this country illegally.
I suppose it's a good thing that the already overtaxed law enforcement officers in Arizona were not called upon to have to determine sexual preference via "reasonable suspicion." Those pink bloomers might not tell the whole story.
Saturday, March 01, 2014
Cash Crunch
Back in 1980, my girlfriend's dad was working on a bank card system that he hoped would turn us into a "cashless society." At the time, as any good teenage boy hearing words come out of a grownup's head, I scoffed. Cashless? You mean that I will walk around town with no folding money in my pocket with nothing but a magnetic stripe to pay my way? Right. And when do I report to Carousel?
Well, I'm here to tell you that I live in the big city and there are plenty of weeks that go by when I carry nothing but a magnetic strip or two in my wallet. Those clanky bits of change I used to haul around are but a thing of the past. Thirty-four years later, I am living in a cashless society. Who would have thought? Well, we know the answer to that one.
It's also the reason why movies that feature satchels full of hundred dollar bills and TV shows that include daring armed car robberies are becoming somewhat antiquated. Who needs all that exposure? Why not just figure out a way to electronically transfer those millions of dollars into your Swiss Bank account. I guess it's nice to know some things never change. The Swiss are still the best at keeping time and money.
Minneapolis is a lot like Switzerland. Well, in climate at least, if not accent. That's where you'll find the headquarters for Target. I worked for Target back in the eighties. It was a discount store, so you didn't expect to need a credit card for transactions there. This meant security for the wads of tens and twenties and rolls of quarters and nickels and dimes was extreme. These days, I suspect those cash drawers don't get the workout they used to. But maybe they should. Credit card information was gathered by as yet unknown hackers, causing customers to run fleeing in the opposite direction in the months following Christmas. Revenue slipped more than five percent after that breach.
Kind of makes me long for the days when I used have a lucky day because I found a crumpled up five dollar bill in the pocket of my jeans. I could buy a latte with that.
Well, I'm here to tell you that I live in the big city and there are plenty of weeks that go by when I carry nothing but a magnetic strip or two in my wallet. Those clanky bits of change I used to haul around are but a thing of the past. Thirty-four years later, I am living in a cashless society. Who would have thought? Well, we know the answer to that one.
It's also the reason why movies that feature satchels full of hundred dollar bills and TV shows that include daring armed car robberies are becoming somewhat antiquated. Who needs all that exposure? Why not just figure out a way to electronically transfer those millions of dollars into your Swiss Bank account. I guess it's nice to know some things never change. The Swiss are still the best at keeping time and money.
Minneapolis is a lot like Switzerland. Well, in climate at least, if not accent. That's where you'll find the headquarters for Target. I worked for Target back in the eighties. It was a discount store, so you didn't expect to need a credit card for transactions there. This meant security for the wads of tens and twenties and rolls of quarters and nickels and dimes was extreme. These days, I suspect those cash drawers don't get the workout they used to. But maybe they should. Credit card information was gathered by as yet unknown hackers, causing customers to run fleeing in the opposite direction in the months following Christmas. Revenue slipped more than five percent after that breach.
Kind of makes me long for the days when I used have a lucky day because I found a crumpled up five dollar bill in the pocket of my jeans. I could buy a latte with that.
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