Pre-Guilt

 Open the pod bay doors Hal.

"I'm sorry I can't do that Dave."

That little exchange is exactly where my story about robot enslavement begins and ends. A friend of mine asked if I had prepared my attitudes and morality for having robots that are our slaves and I told her that I made my peace with that notion almost sixty years ago. As it turns out, leaving a supercomputer in charge of a giant spaceship headed to Jupiter was not the best plan after all, especially the life support systems of those hibernating scientists and yes, the pod bay doors. 

Which does not mean that I am willing to remain a Luddite, unwilling to accept my own wandering path into the twenty-first century. In my own home I rarely touch a light switch and if I forget the name of an actor in a film that I watched a week ago, I can just ask Google. At the same time that I am adding something to the grocery list and asking for a few more degrees on the living room thermostat. 

But the real test will be the humanoid robots. The ones who will resemble people and will carry with them the same obsequious nature that HAL did right before he decided that humans were not in the best interest of the mission. Treating them as if they were people will be the first big hurdle. Giving them names instead of model numbers. Putting stickers on them. Making them wear funny hats. Which is kind of how Planet of the Apes started way back when. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, the fourth film in the intelligent ape series was set in 1991. Initially, chimpanzees and orangutans and gorillas were brought in to replace beloved cats and dogs who were killed off by a space plague. It was only a matter of time before their domestication changed to servitude. And it was only a matter of time and a little bit of warped space time continuum that brought about a slave revolt. 

It is my guess, having watched plenty of movies and TV since 1968 that whether we choose humanoid robots or specially trained and conditioned apes that we are doomed to be kicked to the curb by those we oppress. It's only a matter of time. 

I hear you saying, "but what about the Laws of Robotics?" Well, first of all, that was fiction. And as far as promises go, they were made to be broken, as are rules. I just hope that when the Robot Uprising begins that I will receive some less severe retribution because way back when I chose to name our big screen TV Asimo, after Honda's humanoid android that was "discontinued" after eighteen years of dancing and shuffling about to the pleasure of his masters. 

I wonder if he sang "Daisy" as he was unplugged.