Get A Grip

 Professional wrestling is alive and well. 

Making a ton of money, thank you very much. 

I know you might have thought that when the World Wildlife Fund sued Vince McMahon and his stable of grapplers for the right to the initials WWF. Instead, they took a crayon to their logo and turned the F into an E and were happy to tell the world that the were no longer a Federation, but were happily and busily creating Wrestling Entertainment on a Worldwide basis. 

Entertainment? Hold on. That gives one the notion that all might not be completely on the up and up among all those highly trained professionals. That perhaps, just perhaps, the fix was in. 

Cut to flashback: In the basement of my friend's house just down the street as kids we would cover the floor with pillows and the mattress from his fold out couch and set about recreating matches we had just watched on the American Wrestling Association that afternoon. We adopted the personae of our favorite stars and their signature moves. Coming off the top rope, or the arm of the couch. Landing a piledriver on my younger brother. My friend recreating the spittle-infused wildness of Mad Dog Vachon. Someone always wanted to be The Crusher. Because he was prone to crushing. 

All of that youthful exuberance was drained away by the time I reached junior high. Going out for the  wrestling team let me know by the first practice that we would not be employing any of these specialty attacks. The brand I was taught was boring by comparison. A lot less hollering and a whole lot more grunting and sweating. Well, maybe the sweat was the common thread between TV and my junior high reality. 

Now it's some fifty years later, and kids I teach are still mesmerized by the antics of these men in tights. Long since retired from my own grappling career, I can appreciate the athletic prowess involved in making the airborne assaults and special holds that are made to look so devastating to opponents, but are actually well choreographed and timed to create the illusion of competition. 

Illusion? Did I say "illusion?" 

Yes. I did. I probably should have started with "spoiler alert," and you have my most sincere apologies if I am the one bringing this news to you for the first time. 

Because everyone needs something to believe in. Even if it's Mad Dog Vachon.