What I've Got

 So when I got the jury summons at the end of July, I didn't wince as much as I have in the past. Rather than simply beginning to dread the experience that was still all potential. There was no certainty attached to it. 

It was, upon closer inspection, a potential disaster since it fell on the week of school during which I would begin teaching my full program. I would be calling in a substitute to take over for me before I had even met all the kids as a class. That would not be optimal. 

Once the week arrived, I did my assigned duty of checking the web site on Friday evening to see if I was needed the following Monday. The magic jury duty eight ball said, "ask again on Monday at five." I went to work. I set up my expectations with one group, and prepared myself for the next day by looking once again at the county's web site.

And so it went. Each day. I was poised to make arrangements for a substitute to come and fill my spot while I went to serve my community in a way other than keeping a school open and running. This particular week more than others, since our head custodian was unable to come in. Which left the few of us who know where everything is to pick up, move, clean and sort before the bell rang each morning. We kept up, but we didn't do the job like someone who knew what they were doing. We survived.

And each evening, I sat down in front of my computer and pressed "refresh." Part of me figured this might be the true test of my own convictions. Would I actually leave the folks at my school to do my civic duty? In the past, I have sat in the jury box, being asked questions about my relative responsibilities. There are those who insist that I am indispensable, but I know that each one of us believes that we are here to pick up the slack. Those of us who are on that short list called "leadership." 

Finally, Thursday night came, and the message let me know that my jury service was complete for the year. I had managed to work my job and then some, while maintaining the possibility that I could at any moment be swept away into an episode of Law & Order that could take days, weeks, months to unravel. Instead, I just did my job, with the continual distraction of what might have been. 

I passed the test.