Call Waiting

 As I have mentioned here before, cell phones are at times the bane of my existence as an elementary school teacher. Sorry, let me back up: "Smart phones" are the bane of my existence as an elementary school teacher. A mobile phone which could be used to contact parents via text or voice during an emergency makes sad sense in the world in which we currently live. That said, I do not believe that showing your friends video of how you took the Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge. 

This is the experience I had upon finding four fifth grade boys huddled just outside the bathroom staring transfixed at the images one of them had taken of himself with frighteningly swollen lips, achieved by sucking on a bottle until his lips were vacuumed inside, causing them to become engorged with blood. Never mind that this Tik-Tok trend is almost as old as they are, or that the damage that one in this brain-trust had done to him mouth was still apparent a day after. The fact that during what was for all of them time to be in their classroom and was instead being spent hanging around just outside the bathroom was the most challenging part to take in. Had they all been in class, perhaps they would have gained some particle of knowledge that would have sparked the synapse that would have told them that sucking your lips into a bottle was not on your top-ten best uses of your time.

Meanwhile, schools around the globe are attempting to restrict "smart phone" use. England is working on limiting the use of these devices and/or banning them altogether this year. School officials across the pond suggest in the most British way possible that they hope to gain "consistency to reset the social norm that there is no place for mobile phones in our schools all the way through the school day." The American equivalent of this would be a picture of a 1990s flip phone with a big red slash through it. We, as educators. understand that we as educators are far less interesting than anything on Tik-Tok, including watching educators experience those frequent and massive failures of authority. 

Like trying to limit cell phone use. 

But if you have stuck with me this long, you may be hoping for some resolution. You may have already anticipated my punch line. Last week in Lebanon and Syria, pagers, radios and other personal communication devices exploded. Israel is believed to have been behind the tele-terrorism, with targets primarily among Hezbollah. Which didn't mean they only blew up Hezbollah. Two young children were among the twelve killed in the attack. 

So maybe just to keep everyone safe, we'll round up all the phones. Safety first, after all.