The Night During Covid

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house-y

Not a creature was stirring, on orders from Doctor Fauci;

All our masks were hung by the chimney with care,

To save us from all the droplets in the air;

The children were sealed all snug in their pods;

While visions of germs danced in their bods;

And mamma in her gator, and I in my mask,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's task,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

I checked the shutters and locked up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a luster of midday to empty streets below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a big blue van with its driver right near,

The little old driver was so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.

More rapid than transit his helpers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Nordstrom! now, Fedex! now Walmart and Postman!

On, Target! on, BestBuy! on, DHL and Amazon!

To the top of the porch! to the door down the hall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the housetop the delivery guys flew

With the bag full of PPE, and St. Nicholas too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard overhead

The prancing and stumbling of some guy named Fred.

As I moved from the window, turning around,

Through the front door St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in hazmat, from his head to his foot,

And his suit was sealed to stay free from viral input;

A bundle of wipes he had shared as a gift,

He looked like a custodian just opening his shift.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his crowsfeet, how merry!

His was obscrued , it could have been scary!

His mouth could be filled with sharp teeth,

And his beard stuck out from beneath;

The stump of a pipe he looked for a light,

Having a smoke, in the middle of the night?

He had a broad face and a little round belly

My guess was under that suit he was probably smelly.

He was chubby and plump, a heart attack risk,

And I hoped that he would keep things brisk;

He moved like he knew what he was doing

Behind his mask he seemed to be chewing;

He was having a snack, before he went to work

And gestured to me, making me feel like a jerk,

And laying his sack in the middle of the floor,

I wondered what he would do for an encore;

He right past me, to his team gave a whistle,

His helpers looked up with an air of dismissal.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“Hmphl Krmbfl tr dll, Nad tr dll uh blrg mite!” 

Darn masks anyway...