I'd Buy That For A Dollar

They guys from South Park may have to rethink things. As it turns out, Canada may be a real country after all. For the first time since Gerald Ford was president, the Canadian dollar can buy as much as our standard greenback. This means that there is no longer a reason to import Molson, Labatt's or Moosehead. The exchange rate on everything north and south of the border has become simply one to one.
That means that Peter Jennings is now just as important as Edward R. Murrow. Roly-poly comics John Candy and Chris Farley now stand on the same step of the comedy pantheon. And the comparisons don't stop at famous dead guys. Canadian bacon and ham are now the same thing, and it won't be very long until Snoop Dogg starts pulling a Tuque down over his eyes. Geddy Lee will release an album of duets with Bruce Springsteen. Hockey will be played throughout the United States until well into the spring. Okay, maybe that last one will continue, but just without the stigma that has always been attached to hockey being played well into the spring.
Mostly, however, things will continue about the same. We'll try not to be bitter about that whole "coalition of the willing" thing. We'll still snicker at the way they say "aboot", and we'll still wonder how they could give first place on their dollar coin to Queen Elizabeth II and second place to a loon. Everybody knows that the right way to go would be to have a guy with wooden teeth on one side, and an endangered species on the other. That's how we roll in America, United States, leader of the free world. For now.