The Line

 "The stupid store just called and they're all out of you."

This is the caliber of wit being bandied about these days as conservatives try and match the onslaught of trolling being dispensed at the hand of one Gavin "Governor Handsome" Newsom. The   ALL CAPS social media storm has been almost constant for months now. The more bizarre the rant coming from the White House, the more twisted the response comes from Newsom. And every so often, Gavin mixes in just enough truth to keep it real: "DONALD TRUMP LOSES AGAIN," California's troll in Chief tweeted, "The courts agree -- his militarization of our streets and use of the military against US citizens is ILLEGAL."

Add to this relentless tide of pointing a finger right back in the face of the former game show host on top of Epstein's List the steady and ferocious bite of Colorado's own South Park. Some have made the mistake of suggesting that the convicted felon's decision to move Space Command to Alabama has something to do with the allegiance of Tommy "Not Making This Name Up" Tuberville. I believe it is the spite generated by this season's laser focused parody coming from Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

But, getting back to the weak sauce being delivered from the comic geniuses on the other side, we have everyone's favorite Texan, Ted "When The Going Gets Tough, We Cancun" Cruz. In Laughing Ted's Newsmax response to Illinois Governor JB Pritzker telling the Trumpreich and their stormtroopers to stay out of Chicago, he went after Pritzker's weight: “Listen, I don’t want to get between JB Pritzker and the Domino’s Pizza line, but I’ll tell you what I am willing to get between is him and his open doors for every human trafficker, every drug trafficker, every MS-13 and Tren De Aragua gang member." 

I know Ted has been busy fleeing whatever the current disaster occurring in his home state is, but to reference "the line" for a pizza delivery chain is just a poorly constructed bit. He could just as easily have suggested that he didn't want to get between the Domino's delivery driver and JB Pritzker. But he didn't. This is the guy who showed up on Tucker "Mister Podcast" Carlson's show and let the former Faux Newsboy dance circles around him. Something about never letting yourself get into a battle of wits with a guy who used to wear a bow tie all the time. That's okay, I'm sure the next time a fire, flood or blizzard threatens the Lone Star State, Ted will be somewhere out on the road, working on his standup comedy career. 

And looking for that Domino's Pizza line.