Wednesday, February 28, 2018


My son scoffs at his parents because they still watch television poured into their house at exorbitant prices. Why not simply watch what you want when you want? His parents maintain a land line. It's a phone connected to the wall by wires. It doesn't allow you to watch television or play games, unless guessing who that really is when the caller ID says "private number" can be considered a game. His mother and father own hundreds of CDs and DVDs, perhaps clinging to the belief that after the zombie apocalypse there will be electricity to power the lasers that will allow them to watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles as many times as they might like. My son's parents will talk wistfully about Ethernet cables and hybrid cars.

And just maybe my son's kids will have the same puzzled look on their faces when someone talks about assault weapons.

"What were they assaulting, dad?"

"Mostly each other."


"No one really knows, but it may have been the video games we used to play or the music we listened to."

"What music did you listen to?"

"Let's see: Chainsmokers. Deadmaus. Black Sabbath."

"Black Sabbath?"

"Ask your grandpa about that."

"These assault weapons, why did people want them so bad?"

"Maybe they liked to pretend they were playing army."


"We used to have a great big group of men and women who would fight other big groups of men and women."

"Like the Olympics?"

"No. This was a lot more violent. Those assault weapons made it easier to be violent to a whole lot of people really fast."

"You mean killing them, don't you?"

"Well. Yeah."

"But these people weren't in the army?"

"Nope. Or at least most of them weren't at the time they did all that - killing."

"I don't get it."

"And that's great."

"Can we go over to grandma and grandpa's house to watch cable TV?"

"Maybe later, sweetheart. Why don't you go inside and see if mom needs any help with the replicator."

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