If You Asked

Thus far, no one has asked me what I think about teachers being armed. This is probably because I have been more than happy to share my feelings on the matter to anyone within earshot every time the suggestion is raised. If you haven't caught any of those rants online or in person, let me make sure that my position is clear:

No. 

If there is still some doubt in your mind as to exactly how I feel, I will direct you to this list of synonyms for asinine. Our "President" recently asserted that he never suggested that we give our teachers guns. Then he went on a rampage about exactly how he thought such a program would work. This included the suggestion that teachers get "a bit of a bonus" for being armed on campus. Which brings us to the crux of this argument: Why would anyone who is already being criminally underpaid for the work they do take on the additional responsibility of armed security guard? A bit of a bonus might entice some, but finding time to get out to the firing range while preparing lesson plans and grading papers and making copies and shopping for supplies that are not available due to budget shortfalls and making phone calls to check in on students who have been absent and often working a second job to make ends meet.

And suddenly an image flashed across my mind: George W. Bush on September 11, 2001 sitting in an elementary classroom. As the minutes ticked by, he sat there, barely taking in the goings-on inside the room as he struggled to make sense of what was happening up the coast from him. He was in Florida while airplanes were crashing into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. When he did get up to leave, he left the kids behind to wonder why his visit was cut short. It only now occurs to me the incredible danger surrounding those kids. Was there any kind of credible intelligence that could have been known that Emma E. Booker Elementary School was not a target? George W. was packed into his bulletproof limousine and whisked away to Air Force One. He was safe.

And so is our current "President." He recently tweeted thanks to his Secret Service detail for doing their job. He is surrounded by heavily armed guards at all times. Of course he feels safe. Nobody is suggesting that he would be even more safe if he was carrying his own gat. Maybe a nice bonus would be involved?

Never mind. Strike that. He is just the kind of nincompoop that would relish the opportunity to pop off a couple rounds while real law enforcement officers are trying to do their jobs. Which brings us to the next level of trouble. A deputy on duty outside Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School on the day of the shooting resigned after security video was released showing him taking a defensive position outside the school instead of rushing in to save the day. Later in the week, there was an armed detail guarding that officer as the "President" called him a coward. More guns. 

And so what makes anyone believe that once gunfire erupts that all those "adept teachers" the "President" refers to wouldn't have a similar moment of self-preservation? Would they somehow undercut the awesome tales of heroism by students, staff and teachers during all of these mass shootings? 

No. Teachers are there to protect their students, not to return fire. On the other side of the argument, a cheeky fellow teacher suggested, if we were given guns, we could sell them to buy markers and headphones. See? Problem solved.