Saturday, January 14, 2017

Your Show Of Shows

I can remember rushing about, eight years ago, making sure that all those old cathode ray tube machines we had rolling around atop carts could receive the signal transmitted to them. Every teacher in our school was anxious to share the history with their students: America was about to swear in its first African American President. In September, 2001, we had a different experience. Our staff was anxiously trying to keep an eye on the events taking place in New York City and Washington D.C., but we tried to keep the full force of the images coming from the east coast. 
Currently, our staff is leaning in the direction of strict avoidance when it comes to the inauguration gala still being planned at this moment for Donald Twit. This bunch of bleeding heart snowflakes and their young charges have no interest in celebrating the peaceful exchange of power. This is the demographic, dark blue Californians, who shiver in the anticipation of the event. The list of those with no interest in the show include performers such as Elton John, Justin Timberlake, and Celine Dion. It is worth noting that only one of those stars is an American, but they turned down the invitation just the same. In years past, at least one Washington D.C. area high school marching band has marched in the inauguration parade. This year, there have been no applicants. While there are plenty of performers turning down the chance to appear, the Trumpsters have fired longtime Inauguration Announcer Charles Brotman. After sixty years on the job and hosting every president since Dwight Eisenhower, Brotman was unceremoniously let go late last week. The email he received was full of compliments, but the bottom line was still the same: "You're Fired." 
It could be that at eighty-nine years of age, Mister Brotman just doesn't fit in with the event organizers are promising with have a "soft sensuality." Considering the sensual history of President Twit, one might wonder just exactly what they will be seeing on a brisk January morning on the steps of the capitol. Tom Barrack, the chairman of the inauguration committee, told reporters to expect something “beautiful.” He went on: “It’s a much more poetic cadence than having a circus-like celebration that’s a coronation.” Barrack also said that he had “the worst job in America.” Sounds like  show I don't want to miss. Are you listening, Marie Osmond

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