There is no more important meal than breakfast. It's your get up and go type of thing. If you don't have your breakfast, you might not have the energy to make it to lunch. Maybe that's why so many restaurants, especially those found on or near America's highways and byways advertise "Breakfast Anytime." It's reassuring. It's comforting to know that there are food service professionals looking out for us day and night. McDonald's recently showed maximum corporate flexibility by extending their definition of this ideal by adding a few more McItems to their McMenu. Sure, they'll probably make some money off the deal, but isn't it nice to know that they want to improve on their worldwide appeal by putting out that McSafety Net for all of us who happen to start out days at different times? It makes you feel all warm inside, doesn't it?
Then there's the Waffle House. For the moment, I will bypass my personal disappointment that each of their restaurants are not constructed entirely of waffles, or even given the appearance of being constructed entirely of waffles. I will let that slide. There is this little matter of Heather "Shorty" Burkinshaw-Stanley. Ironic nickname for a woman whose real name takes up a full line. It seems that Shorty takes her job as a breakfast food provider very seriously. Last week, when she was handed a note by three customers that threatened they would shoot up the place if she didn't hand over all the cash in her drawer, she decided to take matters into her own hands. In the form of her own weapon. Ms. Burkinshaw-Stanley fired a shot in the air as the thieves retreated to the parking lot, scaring them off, according to the lady with the gun. The guys with no obvious weapons fled with two hundred dollars of waffle money. Shorty saved the day, right?
Except she got fired. In the Donald Trump "you're fired" sense, not the shots were fired in the air kind. Corporate spokesperson for Waffle House, Pat Warner, says, "we want people to feel safe on both sides of the counter." The obvious question to ask Mr. Warner would be, "How do you explain your chili-covered hash browns, then?" Gastronomic kidding aside, here we have that "good guy/gal with a gun scenario" played out in real life and no one was killed or injured. Having the presence of mind to shoot at the clouds may have played in Shorty's favor.
Though I do wonder if there wasn't somebody sitting down to their Cream O' Wheat that morning when suddenly, thunk, a bullet came crashing down from the heavens and landed right in their bowl. That might make a less than nutritious start.