One Hundred Foot Limit

Because I have answered a telephone survey or two, my name now appears on a great many lists. The caller usually asks if I have a few minutes to discuss current issues and if they can guarantee me that I won't be on the phone for more than ten minutes I let it happen. Quite often the last thing that they ask me is this: Will you vote in the upcoming election? Sometimes they even give me a range of response: Definitely not, Maybe, and Definitely.
I'm a definitely kind of guy when it comes to voting. It's left over from when I was first drawn into world politics through Amnesty International. A very good friend of mine asked me, innocently enough, if I was so interested in the affairs of so many other states, why wouldn't I register to vote in my local elections? She had me dead to rights. I was my own political prisoner. With people across the globe fighting and dying for the right to vote, I was "too busy" to get out and do the simplest civic duty.
That was a long time ago. I'm proud to say that I've trotted myself out to cast my ballot just about every single time since then. Change of address? No problem. Polling place moved? No problem? I've been there when there were lines stretching out the door and other times when I had the place to myself. It's a participatory thing. I feel completely righteous in my complaints about the government that I had a hand in picking.
For all the joy I take in this relatively simple undertaking, it has never occurred to me to show up in costume. Until now. Voters in Nevada will not be allowed to vote if they show up at their polling places dressed as chickens. On Friday, state election officials added chicken suits to the list of banned items after weeks of ridicule directed at Republican Senate candidate Sue Lowden. The millionaire casino executive and former beauty queen recently suggested that people barter with doctors for medical care, like when "our grandparents would bring a chicken to the doctor." Fun-loving Democrats responded by setting up a website, "Chickens for Checkups," and by sending volunteers in chicken suits to her campaign events.
It got me to wondering what items might be banned by California election officials. I'm guessing that bringing guns along would be a great way to double up on those feel-good constitutional vibes, and as long as you were smoking medicinally, that wouldn't be a problem either. My "Stewart/Colbert 2008" shirt would probably be okay as long as the poll workers didn't have cable, and since I've worn my bike helmet to vote for most elections I can remember, I suspect that silly hats are still on the approved list. And I'm guessing that, since the poultry initiative isn't being felt this far west, I could get away with my chicken suit as well. God bless the America!