Too Many Puppies

 The easy chop was "Ding dong, the witch is dead."

Except she's not. Kristi the puppy killer wasn't fired. She was transferred. This was not the fate Renee Good or Alex Pretti experienced. Kristi "With an I" was sentenced to a new post as Special Envoy to The Shield of the Americas. Her focus will be on implementing the Donroe Doctrine, a wholly imaginary policy from the enfeebled mind of the Orange Felon who felt the need to shuffle the once and future ICE Barbie off to a cushy job out of the public eye where her cosplay could be limited to whatever it is that envoys wear. Whatever happened to "you're fired?" 

Cricket was executed for the crime of being "untrainable."

Meanwhile, the dysfunctional Department of Homeland Security will most certainly have their hands full with what will most certainly be an influx of possible terrorist activity exacerbated by the intentional stirring of the hornets' nest we call the middle east. The current response from what's left of the White House when asked if we should worry about an attack on American soil: "I guess." 

Because two words has never been sufficient to fully explore the depth of his stupidity, the former game show host continued: "But I think they're worried about that all the time. We think about it all the time. we think about it all the time. We plan for it. But yeah, you know, we expect some things. Like I said, some people will die. When you go to war, some people will die."

And as nonchalant as that response might have been, Pete "The Pistol" Hegseth got his knickers in a twist when the initial U.S. casualties from Operation Epstein Fury were announced: “When a few drones get through or tragic things happen, it’s front page news. I get it. The press only wants to make the president look bad. But try for once to report the reality. The terms of this war will be set by us at every step.”

Stupid news. 

Stupid protesters. 

Stupid puppies. 

Ding dong.