Physician Heal Thyself

"So doc, give it to me straight. I can handle it."

"Well, I don't think you have much to worry about. It's really only as bad as your average flu."

"Oh. I've heard that."

"Yes, as a matter of fact, ninety-nine percent of COVID-19 cases are totally harmless.”

"Well, that's a relief."

"It’s going to disappear. One day, it’s like a miracle. It will disappear.”

"Well then. I guess this is just a lot of fuss over nothing."

"Yes, here in America we now have the lowest Fatality Rate in the World.”

"But people are still dying?"

"No worries. We going  are going to have vaccines, I think, relatively soon.”

"Soon?"

"And in the warmer weather - that has a very negative effect on that, and that type of a virus.”

"What about wearing a mask, doc? Would it help?"

"Maybe they’re great, and maybe they’re just good. Maybe they’re not so good.”

"Where did you say you went to medical school?"

"Well, I didn't. I had an uncle who went to MIT who is a top professor. A genius. It’s in my blood. I’m smart.”

"Oh."

"Now if you'll just roll over, I'll administer the bleach."