Qanon And On And On And On And On

 'THRUST - A QUITE CONTROVERSIAL LOOK AT THE WORLD AROUND US*

Presenter: Good evening. I have with me tonight Anne Elk. Mrs Anne Elk. 

Miss Elk: Miss. 

Presenter: You have a new theory about the Democrats. 

Miss Elk: Can I just say Chris for one moment that I have a new theory about the Democrats.

Presenter: Exactly. (he gestures but she does not say anything) What is it? 

Miss Elk: Where? (looks around) 

Presenter: No, no your new theory. 

Miss Elk: Oh, what is my theory? 

Presenter: Yes. 

Miss Elk: Oh what is my theory that it is. Well Chris you may well ask me what is my theory. 

Presenter: I am asking. Miss Elk Good for you. My word yes. Well Chris, what is it that it is - this theory of mine. Well, this is what it is - my theory that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine. 

Presenter: (beginning to show signs of exasperation) Yes, I know it's yours, what is it? 

Miss Elk: Where? Oh, what is my theory? This is it. (clears throat at some length) My theory that belongs to me is as follows. (clears throat at great length) This is how it goes. The next thing I'm going to say is my theory. Ready? 

Presenter: Yes. 

Miss Elk: My theory by A. Elk. Brackets Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All Democrats are thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and belongs to me and I own it, and what it is too. 

Presenter: That's it, is it? 

Miss Elk: Spot on, Chris. 

Presenter: Well, er, this theory of yours appears to have hit the nail on the head. 

Miss Elk: And it's mine. 

Presenter: Yes, thank you very much for coming along to the studio. Thank you. 

Miss Elk: My pleasure, Chris... 

Presenter: Next week Washington's newest wasp farm... 

Miss Elk: It's been a lot of fun. 

Presenter: Yes, thank you very much. 

Miss Elk: Saying what my theory is. 

Presenter: Yes, thank you. 

Miss Elk: And whose it is. 

Presenter: Yes, thank you - that's all - thank you... opens next week. 

Miss Elk: I have another theory. 

Presenter: Yes. 

Miss Elk: Called my second theory, or my theory number two. 

Presenter: Thank you. Britain's newest wasp farm... 

Miss Elk: This second theory which was the one that I had said... 

Presenter: (the phone rings; he answers) Yes, no I'm trying... 

Miss Elk: Which I could expound without doubt. This second theory which, with the one which I have said, forms the brace of theories which I own and which belong to me, goes like this... 

Presenter: (looking at his shoe) Nine and a half, wide fitting... Balleys of Bond Street. What? No, sort of brogue. 

Miss Elk: This is what it is. (clears throat) 

Presenter: Eight and a half. 

Miss Elk: This is it... (lots of noisy throat clearing) 

(Cut to Breaking News: Steve Bannon Arrested)

*Thanks and apologies to Graham, John and MPFC.