Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Deliver Us

How do I know this is America? A national headline was made out of the resignation of the head of a pizza company. Not just any pizza company, mind you. This was Papa John's. The Chief Executive in question is none other than the papa of Papa John's, John Schnatter. As the head the pizza sponsor of the National Football League, he was very unhappy with the performance of the NFL this past season. And he said so. He said that his pizza company had been hurt by protests by players taking a knee to draw attention to police brutality. Or disrespect the flag, depending on which side of the loony bin you find yourself. "And more importantly, by not resolving the current debacle to the player and owners' satisfaction, NFL leadership has hurt Papa John's shareholders."
Somewhere in there is a logic that is inescapable, at least for Papa John Schnatter. Players kneel, and shareholders lose money. It's as simple as that. Somewhere in there is the panic generated by those who fuss over the declining ratings for professional football, and the message that is sent by all that free speech. Mixed into this message is the idea that somehow free speech causes a decline in the sales of delivery pizza. 
As a matter of total transparency, I should point out that I once ordered a pizza from Papa John, and it had a direct correlation to the NFL. During the Super Bowl run a few years back by the Denver Broncos, franchise owner, quarterback and celebrity spokesperson Peyton Manning made it seem like it would be a good idea to merge my interest in the team and the cheesy meal I would choke down while watching them. We call this "synergy." Of course there is something just a tad antithetical to the comparison of highly conditioned athletes competing and ingesting a few days worth of carbs and calories with extra pepperoni. But it's a thing.
At no point during that broadcast did I pause and say, "Wow. This is really great pizza!" It met the requirements of my fussy palate: It was flat. It was warmer than room temperature. I found no bits of broken glass in it. It was totally edible. After that, we didn't order another, preferring instead to get the adequate pizza from the place that delivers without the aid of any logos or corporate sponsorship. Just plain, thanks. 
Meanwhile, Papa John will leave the seat he occupied white supremacists vowed to make Papa John's the official pizza of the alt-right. He continues on as chairman of the board, and according to the company he founded in 1984, Schnatter will continue to "pursue his personal passion for entrepreneurship, leadership development and education." Aside from being confused on a matter of racial sensitivity, maybe he can figure out how to make a better calzone. 

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