Facts Of Life

"Son?"
"Yes dad?"
"It's time we sat down and had a little talk."
"But dad, I'm right in the middle of -"
"Never mind about that. Come on over and sit down."
"Okay, dad."
"Now, you're getting to be quite the young man all of a sudden. Am I right?"
"I guess so."
"And you're starting to notice the girls. Am I right?"
"Aw Dad, I don't know."
"And they're starting to notice you, I bet."
"C'mon, dad."
"Well, it just makes sense, you know. You are my son, after all."
"Yeah."
"I think it's time for you to know a few facts of life."
"Okay."
“We all know guys that have had conversations with other guys that go a little bit in that direction.”
"What direction is that?"
"You know. 'Locker room talk.'"
"Okay." 
"When you see a pretty girl and you, um, might want to take her shopping - for furniture."
"Yeah?"
"And you want to move on her, and maybe grab her and kiss her, you know."
"Yeah."
"Well you go right ahead, because when you're a celebrity you can just get away with that kind of thing."
"Really."
"You bet."
"Even if they're married?"
"Especially if they're married."
"Gee, I dunno."
"Well son, I'm glad we had this little talk."
"Yeah. Me too. I guess."