Pale Kitty

There are dog people, and there are cat people. I believe that I have spent my entire life in the dog camp. Plenty of people will line up to testify that my personality is more suited to those doggie characteristics, and even more who would scoff loudly about such associations. The truth is that I have never had any sort of lasting relationship with a cat. I have known a great many noble and clever felines, but my family has never owned one. No litter boxes or scratching posts here.
My older brother had a pair of cats. I liked them. They seemed to like me. I say this because, just like people, once you leave their house you never know what they say about you behind your back. I had the same experience with the couple of cats my son's godparents owned. We got along fine, and we managed to maintain a very cordial and functional relationship. My wife grew up in a world that allowed cats and dogs in the same household, so she often wishes that we could experiment with some of that same cohabitation, but the thought still boggles me. Can't we all just get along? It puts me in mind of Geraldo Rivera brawling with neo-Nazis: too terrible to contemplate.
Finally, the argument every cat owner I have ever had contact with will try to convince me that my feelings about cats are fundamentally correct, "But my cat is different. You'll love my cat." So far, this hasn't turned out to be true. I have liked many of the cats that I have met. I have even taken care of the cats for friends and relatives while they are away. I always treat them with care and affection, as all creatures are due. But I'm going to have to draw the line at Oscar. Oscar the cat has an uncanny ability for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. Oscar's different, but I don't think I'll love Oscar.