No Longer Being Kept Down By The Man

Please don't tell me that there is never any good news. Starting next month, airline passengers will be allowed to bring most cigarette lighters on board again freeing airport screeners to spend more time searching for explosives. They're putting the "free" back in freedom, or is that the other way 'round? Now, along with my fellow passengers, I will be able to light a cigarette - well, not on board a plane, or anywhere near most of the major terminals, but if I had a mind to walk the half-mile to the nearest designated smoking section, I would be certain to have my trusty Bic with me (the lighter, not the pen).
Or maybe I could set off some fireworks. That brings back memories of the pop bottle rocket fights we used to have in college. But wait: fireworks are still illegal in most states, and are explosives anyway, so there goes that fun idea too.
Unless the Transportation Security Administration is hoping that we will be better equipped to call for an encore of "Freebird", I'm not exactly sure what problem they were attempting to solve. Since the ban is still in place for torch-style lighters that burn much hotter, MacGyver type pranks will be limited to the low end of the flame spectrum. The bonus comes in the savings for our government that was confiscating more than 22,000 a day. It costs TSA four million dollars a year to dispose of them because they contain hazardous materials.Lighting up one's shoes will still be highly discouraged.
If that's not good enough for you, why not take advantage of the other rule change that takes place on August 4: Mothers (or anyone) wanting to bring more than three ounces of breast milk onto an airplane will no longer have to be accompanied by an infant. The milk is still subject to inspection by screeners, but now you can bring along the breast milk to put out any small fires that might be started by your non-confiscated lighter. Didn't life just get a whole lot easier?