Monday, April 16, 2007

Virginia Reeling

How about this for the official statement from the White House: "The president believes that there is a right for people to bear arms, but that all laws must be followed," spokeswoman Dana Perino said. Thanks Dana. I'm sure that comes as great comfort to any of the students and faculty at Virginia Tech who were wondering how this might affect his stance on gun control. There is every reason in the world to suspect that the gunman in this particular case had the correct permits and permissions for carrying the weapons that he used, but at this moment in time how could it possibly matter?
While the media rushes about putting this horror in its historical perspective, we need to know how this mass killing stacks up. Will there be a rush to find what music the crazed mutant was listening to just before he began shooting up the campus? Sure there will be. Video games too. I'll bet he played video games. Check on that. He played violent first-person shooter games while listening to Marilyn Manson. That's what did it. That and sugary breakfast cereal. And parents who abused him. Or ignored him. Or spoiled him. Whatever they did, they did it wrong and they should be blamed too.
Or maybe he was a bad guy who did a horrible thing. It is at this point I feel inclined to assert Chris Rock's stance on gun control: "... everybody's talking about gun control, got to get rid of the guns...You don't need no gun control. You know what you need? We need some bullet control. Man, we need to control the bullets, that's right. I think all bullets should cost $5,000. $5,000 for a bullet. You know why? 'Cause if a bullet costs $5,000 there'd be no more innocent bystanders. That'd be it. Every time someone gets shot, people will be like, “Damn, he must have did something...”
Sorry, but it makes as much sense as anything else right now.

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