Unchaperoned

 I did not drop my son off at a lot of high school dances. I didn't get to pick him up from parties at his friends' homes. By the time his social circle and commensurate activities had evolved to anything resembling that level of interaction, he had begun driving his own car and took himself places and saw the people he wanted to see. Whenever he wanted. 

Which wasn't all that often. 

In  this way, he was similar to his father whose own high school tribe was primarily found in his parents' basement until such time as we all had our own drivers licenses and vehicles that allowed us to take the party on the road. 

This is what made it so very interesting for me to have the chance to drop my all-grown-up little boy off at a nearby church where he was attending a friend's wedding. The night before we shared dinner and a conversation about social anxiety, and I was struck once again by the similarities between dad and lad. He said that he was concerned about all the possible interactions that could take place at such an potentially emotionally charged event. I was a little curious, since just two weeks prior he had enjoyed the bacchanalia of a bachelor's party that eventually merged with the bachelorette party featuring most of the cast of characters that would be attending the actual nuptials. 

This was the part that would require a good deal more sober, reflective moments before the drinking. I could relate. I spent a good portion of my twenties being "that guy" at weddings and birthday parties and christenings and other occasions where the "open bar" was an invitation to relieve all that pent-up uneasiness. Suddenly, talking to someone's cousin from Idaho became a much easier gauntlet through which I could pass with a couple beers in me. 

And all these years later, I know that the moment that I started showing up as my authentic self, I became "the marrying kind." I know this because the woman I married told me so. She just happens to be my son's mother. 

Nice how that all worked out. 

I hope it works out just as well for my little boy.