Feeling Funny

 Lately I find myself reflecting on the latter days of Lenny Bruce's career. The part where he spent hours on stage going over and over the details of his multitudinous legal cases stemming from what started out with a pushing of the boundaries of comedy and became a paranoid, drug addled tilt against the windmills that were keeping him from being just a funny guy. 

He was.

Very. 

I like to think of myself as a funny guy. I have often been called out for better or worse for being just that. "You're so funny," people have told me. 

Lately, I don't feel that way. I feel like a crank hunched over his keyboard, pounding out a daily rant about the injustices of the world. Sure, I try to include some funny nicknames or a clever turn of phrase, but mostly I feel the need to rage against the machine that is currently digesting our freedoms bit by bit, hour by hour. 

I suppose the good news is that my drug addiction occurred early enough in my life that I don't feel that will be the cause of my eventual downfall. Instead I will be found sitting in front of a computer, staring wildly into space attempting to come up with a better way to describe the former game show host and adjudicated rapist who has been using the Constitution to line the litter box he uses not to relieve himself but rather to create the ugliest possible mess in what used to be The People's House. 

During The Worst's initial term I spent time each day checking into his Twitter account just to leave a pithy reply or saucy comment. My wife noticed this obsession and its effects on my demeanor and suggested that I take some time away. Then he had his account taken away. Then he opened up his own social media trough where he could screech his nonsense in CAPITAL LETTERS. Then his techbro bought Twitter and invited him back, but since his relationship with his techbro was tenuous at best, he decided to stay put, which seems to be one of his talents. 

Staying put. Let everyone else move around him. 

Each day I find myself navigating a world that seems to be almost entirely focused on his imbecilic lethargy. I am so very tired of stepping around him and his clown posse. 

It's not funny. 

It's overwhelming. 

I used to be a funny guy. 

And maybe I will be again some day.