Sports Ticker

 You might not remember that Danica Patrick, who used to be a race car driver, who used to date an NFL quarterback by the name of Aaron Rogers, was a big deal. She even did a commercial that first aired during the 2009 Super Bowl. It didn't really focus as much on her connection to football or race car driving or any other sport unless getting into the shower with another woman is a sport. 

Nonetheless, even though it has been five years since Ms. Patrick and Mr. Rogers (not that Mister Rogers) have been dating and even longer since she raced a car, she felt compelled to use her station as (checks notes) a podcaster to let us all know just how she feels about the upcoming halftime show for this year's Super Bowl. The one that was just announced, featuring Bad Bunny. 

"Oh fun..." she tweeted, "No songs in English should not be allowed at one of America's highest-rated television events of the year ... not just for sports."

For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Bunny, he is a Puerto Rican rapper and has the Spotify record for most streams of an album. More than (checks notes) Ms. Swift. Since Ms. Swift turned down a gracious offer from the National Football League to perform on what Ms. Patrick correctly describes as one of America's highest rated television events of the year, the NFL figured they should find someone on a scale with Travis Kelce's fiancée. They landed on Bad Bunny. 

A potential ratings juggernaut, not simply because of his streamability, but because there are plenty of folks who will tune in just to see the ugly scene that Department of Homeland Security adviser Corey "not one of the fun Coreys" Lewandowski guaranteed after the announcement. “There is nowhere that you can provide safe haven to people who are in this country illegally. Not the Super Bowl and nowhere else." Suggesting that those who have been hounded and hunted for the past nine months would be foolish enough to give it all up for their chance to catch Mr. Bunny live at Levi Stadium this coming February.  

For his part, Mr. Bunny has stayed away from the United States on his current tour, with the exception of his native Puerto Rico, which just happens to be part of those United States, even though they don't get a star on the flag or a vote in Congress. If this is starting to sound a little like the Sharks and the Jets, I will stake my sports reputation on the infinitesimal chance that the green team from New York will find itself playing for the Lombardi trophy.  At least those characters from the West Side had the good taste to sing in English. 

Oh fun.