Overboard

 Laura Angelo got kicked off a cruise ship. This little squib of information seems at first blush to be a win-win situation. Thank you for saving me from floating across the seven seas on a floating death trap. Thank you Caribbean Cruise line for not subjecting me to endless hours of shuffleboard on the Lido Deck coupled with the likelihood of contracting some variant of the deadly plague that has gripped the planet for more than a year and a half. 

Laura was removed from The Freedom of the Seas on July 7, two days after disembarking from Miami. Because she and a travel companion tested positive for COVID-19. At which point they were walked off the boat by Royal Caribbean employees in hazmat suits and flown home to New York. 

Which would be a pretty short story with a happy ending, as I have noted that it means limited exposure to the onboard antics that cruise ships have to offer and limited exposure to those who might be sailing to try to avoid catching the aforementioned deadly plague. 

Except Laura insists that the test she was given provided a false reading. Having contracted coronavirus back in March, she felt that her chances of reacquiring the disease should be minimal especially since subsequent tests before she left on the cruise and after she had been flown back to New York have come up negative. 

So, what else could she do? 

Thank Royal Caribbean, that's what else. The enforced togetherness that is the essential feature of every cruise experience? You are hereby relieved! The fifty dollar margaritas? You are excused! Wandering about a floating petri dish with a group of strangers? No longer your concern! 

Okay, maybe now is the time to come clean on this other tidbit: The cruise I went on with my wife for our honeymoon pretty much cemented my lack of interest in Love Boat shenanigans moving forward. It was memorable, but if we had simply flown to Key West and then driven up the coast of Florida to Disney World, I don't think I would have felt cheated. There might have been a moment when, if asked, I might have been willing to give up the rest of my fun boat ride for a plane trip to New York City. 

But no one asked me. A little like the potential for hugs and handshakes disappearing as a result of the pandemic, this might be too much to expect. Laura, I'm suggesting that you count your blessings.