Excuses, Excuses

"The President" insists that the reason he came back from Vietnam with no substantive agreements with North Korea was because of Michael Cohen's testimony before Congress. Here is the list from which he chose that excuse:
The light was in my eyes.
These grips weren't taped.
This controller is messed  up.
The GPS gave me the wrong directions.
My daughter borrowed my car and then took my car keys with her to school.
I got stuck on level 2 of Angry Birds.
I don't have a seven on my phone. 
There was an Uber surge.
I had a taco bowl the night before and could barely move.
I had a UTI.
I'm pretty sure there were frogs in my bed.
These newfangled door locks, you know?
I'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle.
It was raining.
It could have been the shellfish.
Jury duty.
Sometimes I just need a little "me time."
I had to meet with my kid's teacher.
Totally freakish thing: the power went out on my floor only.
Have you ever seen The Notebook?
I thought that can of cat food was tuna.
I got my arm stuck in one of those blood pressure machines.
There was a sale at Penny's.
I bowled the game of my life the night before.
We need to build that wall!
Bats in my hair.