Thursday, March 16, 2017

What Have You Heard?

"What I can say is there are many ways to surveil each other now, unfortunately," including "microwaves that turn into cameras, et cetera. So we know that that is just a fact of modern life." This reality was brought to you by the queen of alternafacts, special counsel to the "President," Kellyanne Conway. She left out hiding behind a door or holding a glass to the wall to hear what's going on in the next room. 
As to the claims made from King Twit's cell phone a week ago, "The answer is I don't have any evidence and I'm very happy that the House intelligence committee (is) investigating." Nobody has been found behind the doors in Trump Tower and all the glasses have been accounted for by housekeeping. 
America's favorite grouchy old man, Senator John McCain, grumbled, "I think the president has one of two choices: either retract or to provide the information that the American people deserve, because, if his predecessor violated the law, President Obama violated the law, we have got a serious issue here, to say the least." Then something about getting those kids off his lawn.
What I can say is that there are many ways to obfuscate in the face of mounting evidence that the emperor seems to have purchased his new clothes from a less than reputable tailor, if he actually purchased any clothes at all. Perhaps the prospect of the "President" wandering around anywhere without ample covering is too desperate an image to maintain without requiring sandpaper to get the memory off your frontal lobe. In which case I defer to a version in which a man from an alt-right web site gave some magic beans to a little boy with orange skin and odd hair. He planted them in the ground and, lo and behold, the next day a magic claim of an "illegal wire tapp" sprouted up as if out of nowhere. 
That's a fairy tale, but since fairy tales tend to wind up with everyone living happily ever after, we all wonder just how this could work out anything like that. Maybe it's more of a fable, after all, in which the little orange boy called "wire tapp" one too many times and a wolf came out of the woods and ate his cell phone. 
And we all lived happily ever after. 
Yes, that is a fairy tale. 

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